A Matter Of No Degrees

I understand that Coach Gary Williams is simply recruiting basketball players to win games. He has shown no intent in recruiting students who also play basketball well. But somewhere along the line, can't he find just one 6-foot-3 fella who will sit at the end of the bench with a strong interest in, say, metallurgical sciences?

He did not recruit a single player between 1997 and 2000 -- and that includes all the starters and top reserves on the 2002 national championship team -- who graduated at College Park within six years. None.

"I've graduated 42 players in 18 years," Williams said.

Wow, 42 in 18 years? Heck, MIT's rowing team graduates 42 people every two weeks.

(Column Intermission II: I'm sure some of you skipped the earlier column intermission once you saw Colt Brennan's name. My friends, he completed 44 of 75 passes for 545 yards in the rain, on the road. I know he's a senior, but if he's majoring in something, anything, I might see if we can skirt NCAA regulations and bring him to College Park in 2008.)

A single woman of 38 is more likely to find a husband at a Daughters of the American Revolution rally than a Maryland basketball player is to graduate within six years.

Williams argues that while none of the top eight players on his '02 title team graduated within six years, all of them went on to professional basketball careers. And it should be noted that forward Lonny Baxter did get jailed on a weapons charge within six years of enrolling at the university.

Now, if you ask most Terp alums if they would trade the 2002 national title for a 33 percent graduation rate or a better English Lit department, they'd likely choose the championship. Then again, that doesn't surprise me -- after all, they went to Maryland, so how smart could they be?

P.S. In defending a budget request to the state legislature in the early 1950s, University of Oklahoma president George L. Cross famously said, "We want to build a university the football team can be proud of." Which reminds me -- anytime I'm on campus, I never can find a parking spot; can't we at least build a parking facility the football team can be proud of?

Ask The Slouch

Q. Several years ago I was watching a football game on which I had bet a substantial amount of money and Joe Montana was standing on the sidelines in a business suit. My then-wife asked me, "What is he doing there?" Whereupon, I yelled, "How the hell should I know?" Was I wrong? (Harold Snyder; Latham, N.Y.)

A. I believe you've answered your own question.

Q. I heard you ranting on the radio the other day -- why do you so hate "the great unwashed"? (Ben Guterman; Maple Heights, Ohio)