Is That 4-Year-Old Really a Sex Offender?

Schools, however, now appear to be holding even young children to adult standards of responsibility and liability. To me, some cases seem clear-cut. If an 11-year-old boy touches a 4-year-old girl's genitals and asks her to perform a sex act, his intent is apparent. But the motivations of two 4-year-olds caught "playing doctor" are less clear; it's probably natural curiosity, not abuse.

The situation gets even more muddy when adolescents are involved and the alleged victim is part of the horseplay. Last February, two 13-year-old boys in McMinnville, Ore., were arrested, put in handcuffs and placed in juvenile detention for five days for allegedly slapping several girls' backsides, according to news reports. The boys were charged with several counts of felony sexual abuse and faced up to 10 years in prison and the prospect of having to register as sex offenders upon release.

In August, several of the girls who initially filed the complaint asked a judge to dismiss the charges, which he did. The boys said the butt-slapping was a game inspired by the movie "Jackass." Like so many activities that adolescents engage in, the slapping was idiotic but not criminal.

Sexual harassment is serious business, and educators should not shirk their duty to ensure that schools are safe environments. But each school district should develop a clear, widely publicized policy that explains what sexual harassment is, gives examples of unacceptable conduct and clearly describes how discipline will be administered.

I have not received instructions of any kind -- not a manual, pamphlet or flier -- from my son's school regarding sexual harassment. Neither have my friends with kids, except in the vaguest terms. Given the long-term ramifications of accusing a child of a sex offense, schools have a duty to warn students and parents about the behavior that they deem inappropriate or unlawful, rather than simply placing a scarlet letter on a kid's forehead after the action has occurred.

Like millions of other parents, my husband and I are doing our best to teach our preschooler to respect others. But if holding a classmate's hand is out of bounds, his school needs to let us know.

yvonne_bynoe@hotmail.com

Yvonne Bynoe is a senior fellow at the Future Focus 2020 center at Wake Forest University and the editor of the forthcoming "Who's Your Mama: The Voices of Unsung Women and Mothers."