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Learning the Nopes
A continuing examination of zero-based journalism

By Gene Weingarten
Sunday, November 11, 2007

Today I present more googlenopes -- original phrases that, when entered between quotes in the Google search engine, return no hits. They will be paired with their opposites, googleyups: phrases that, however improbably, already are out there somewhere.

(As always, every time a new googlenope is created and published, it ceases to be a googlenope. In this manner, we shall slowly but steadily create a world in which nothing has been left unsaid.)

Googleyup: There is nothing I would change about my life

Googlenope: There is nothing I would change about my hair

Googlenope: the fashionably dressed dental hygienist

Googleyup: the fashionably dressed ho

Googleyup: chocolate covered lettuce

Googleyup: chocolate covered steak

Googleyup: chocolate covered frogs

Googleyup: chocolate covered bacon

Googleyup: chocolate covered pork fat

Googleyup: chocolate covered squid

Googleyup: chocolate covered toothpaste

Googleyup: chocolate covered sand

Googleyup: chocolate covered cinnamon Altoids

Googleyup: chocolate covered Volkswagen Beetle parked in front of a supermarket in China

Googlenope: chocolate covered poached mouse fetuses on a lightly toasted poppy-seed bagel with a schmear

Googleyup: My ATM password is

Googlenope: My hip and waist sizes are

Googleyup: Hitler pleasantly

Googleyup: Stalin pleasantly

Googleyup: bin Laden pleasantly

Googleyup: Dracula pleasantly

Googlenope: Coulter pleasantly

Googleyup: I like my bad breath

Googleyup: I like my belly fat

Googleyup: I like my huge butt

Googleyup: I like my bad skin

Googleyup: I like my yellow teeth

Googlenope: I like my pinky toenails

Googleyup: playing footsie in church

Googleyup: playing footsie in the library

Googleyup: playing footsie with a jellyfish

Googleyup: playing footsie with a leper

Googlenope: playing footsie with Ruth Bader Ginsburg

Googlenope: We dined on Chateaubriand and foie gras

Googleyup: We dined on lobster and Pez

Googlenope: my disappointing granddaughter

Googlenope: my disappointing grandson

Googlenope: my disappointing daughter

Googleyup: my disappointing son

Googleyup: a mysterious podiatrist

Googlenope: a sex-crazed orthodontist

Googleyup: I love that tuba solo

Googleyup: I love that pimple

Googleyup: I love that rapist

Googlenope: I love that mathematician

Googleyup: The Critique of Pure Reason by Immanuel Kant? LOL!

Googlenope: Aristophanes was a douchebag :-P

Googlenope: I definately support Giuliani

Googlenope: I definately support McCain

Googlenope: I definately support Romney

Googlenope: I definately support Kucinich

Googlenope: I definately support Thompson

Googlenope: I definately support Clinton

Googleyup: I definately support Bush

Rachel Manteuffel contributed to this article.

Gene Weingarten's e-mail address is weingarten@washpost.com.

Chat with him online Tuesdays at noon.

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