Who Gets the Mortgage?

"Life is so unpredictable that it's tough to conceive of everything that can possibly happen to you," said Fegani, president of OlympiaWest Mortgage in Vienna. "Have some conversations about what happens 'if,' and fill in the blanks."

Then put those what-ifs in a binding legal contract, said Marna Tucker, a divorce lawyer and senior partner at Feldesman Tucker Leifer & Fidell in the District.

Engaged couples can write a prenuptial agreement. Spouses can even do a postnuptial agreement if they have concerns about their home. And unmarried co-borrowers should have a lawyer write a contract.

Start by asking yourself: How are we going to own the property?

There's more than one way to do it, Tucker said. For instance, joint tenancy with right of survivorship is a form of co-ownership that allows both borrowers to jointly own the home. If one dies, the other becomes the sole owner. By contrast, tenants in common each own a certain percentage of the home; when one dies, his share may go to other beneficiaries.

Then consider who is going to pay for what, Tucker said. Think beyond the monthly mortgage payment: Who pays taxes? Who pays for renovations? Who pays if one borrower loses a job?

Also worthy of discussion is what happens if the co-borrowers split, she said. Can one buy the other out? Should they agree to sell the home? Who will sell it? How will they set the price? If it's sold, how will the proceeds be divided?

Absent a legally binding contract that clearly deals with these issues, Fairfax financial planner Ric Edelman tells his clients, never buy a home jointly with someone to whom you are not married because doing so can be highly problematic, even among relatives.

A few years ago, Edelman talked clients out of buying a beach house with another couple because "it had disaster written all over it."

The couples had known each other for three years, and they had children of similar ages who got along well.

But Edelman urged his clients to think about the what-ifs. What if one couple has marital problems, health issues or a job relocation? Who will be responsible for repairs? What if the kids grow apart? What if one couple wants to sell but the other does not?

The key for anyone thinking about signing onto a mortgage with someone other than a spouse is to consider whether you can afford the loan on your own, Edelman said.

If you can, go for it.

If not, reconsider.

"If you can't afford it on your own, then you're not ready to buy a house," Edelman said. "It's that simple."