Mencarinis' Biggest Win Came Before The Season
Cougars' Road to 4A Final Includes Victory Over Cancer

By Josh Barr
Washington Post Staff Writer
Friday, December 7, 2007

It was along the sideline, somewhere around the 30-yard line, where they embraced. The father, who spent the summer undergoing chemotherapy to treat leukemia, had already seen his son crying in joy after the biggest victory in his brief coaching career, a Maryland 4A semifinal win over Thomas Johnson. When they hugged, Joe Mencarini could no longer contain his emotions.

"That was the best hug we've ever had," he said, eyes watering at the memory of last Friday's game.

There might be another one just like it tonight.

The Quince Orchard High School football team and its coach, Dave Mencarini, enter tonight's Maryland 4A championship against No. 3 Arundel with a 13-0 record, and they have spent the better part of the season as The Post's top-ranked team.

Joe Mencarini oversees the defensive backs on his son's team. But their football success this season has been tempered by family challenges.

Joe Mencarini collapsed in the shower on St. Patrick's Day. A few days later, on his 60th birthday, leukemia was diagnosed. He spent most of the spring and summer fighting the disease, a form of cancer. He set his sights on getting healthy by the start of practice on Aug. 15 and, less than a week before the Cougars began two-a-days, he received a clean bill of health. Initially, though, he needed a golf cart to get around the field because he had lost much of his strength.

The day after learning that Joe was cancer-free, his wife, Linda, was told she had breast cancer. The American Cancer Society said cancer was discovered in nearly 26,000 Maryland residents last year, and it had struck the Mencarinis twice in a matter of months.

"Three weeks later, she had surgery and got a clean bill of health," Joe Mencarini said.

However, as part of a follow-up, doctors scanned Linda's body and discovered a tumor in her right kidney. The tumor was found to be cancerous and the entire kidney was removed. Linda's first chemotherapy treatment is scheduled for Thursday.

"There were times I'd go home to my wife at night and say: 'I don't know what I've done to make somebody angry. Enough is enough,' " Dave Mencarini said. "Football has really been the thing to keep everybody going."

Since Dave, 33, became Quince Orchard's head coach before the 2004 season, Joe has been one of his assistants. Their relationship has grown closer, with Dave usually calling his father a few times each night to discuss strategy -- even though sometimes it seems a little awkward that the son gets the final say in the conversation.

"Even in the offseason, it's unusual if a day goes by without David calling once or twice," Linda Mencarini said.

Those calls turned into hospital visits for much of the spring and summer.

A longtime assistant coach in football and baseball with a four-year stint as Walter Johnson's football coach, Joe was retired from his job as a math teacher in Montgomery County and had been teaching and coaching at Gonzaga. Instead of going back to school after the diagnosis, Joe was admitted to Suburban Hospital in Bethesda to begin chemotherapy.

"In 31 years of work, I never had to take a sick day," Joe said. "Then when someone tells you that you're sick, that you have cancer, it scared the hell out of me. My wife and I decided that I had 24 hours to cry about it. I probably cried for the better part of 24 hours, not blaming anyone or asking why, just being distraught at the whole idea. Then I went into the hospital and we both agreed, the whole family agreed, to be as competitive as I am about everything, stay positive and deal with it."

Many of the things that had become routine for Joe and Linda were suddenly put on hold. The annual trip to Arizona was canceled. There were no family cookouts and no trips to visit friends. Joe insisted on mowing the lawn when he got out of the hospital, but for the first time Linda hired someone to clean up the garden beds. There also was added meaning for Dave's sister, Lauren Essig, who had joined the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society's Team In Training to prepare for the National Marathon the next week.

All the while, Joe had his eye on returning to the football field. After losing in the Maryland 4A West Region final the past two seasons, the Cougars had a talented and experienced lineup entering 2007 and were expected to be strong. Joe came through the chemotherapy without any side effects, though it took some time to rebuild his stamina. He cried during the national anthem at the season opener and after a 35-point victory went back to Dave's house, where he enjoyed his first beer since March.

"That was without a doubt the coldest, most refreshing beer I've ever tasted," he said.

"I'll never look at things the same way," Joe Mencarini said. "Every morning I wake up, I'm happy to wake up and I'm happy to start another cancer-free day. And with my wife's situation, it's very important that she's starting another cancer-free day. It puts everything in perspective. As cold and rotten as it was at practice [earlier this week], it was a good day."

The rest of the season has gone off without a hitch, with all but two victories decided by more than 10 points.

Essig, a regular at the Cougars' games, will be at M&T Bank Stadium tonight, as will Linda Mencarini, who usually stays home and gets regular score updates over the phone while avoiding the cold.

And win or lose, father and son almost certainly will embrace again at game's end.

"That's why those hugs at the end of a game mean so much more than just a father and son hugging," Dave Mencarini said. "People know the story, but I don't think people realize how important family is."