How Do You Say No When . . .

. . . you're a supervisor trying to meet a deadline and an employee stops by your office to ask, "Got a minute?"

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Say, "I have a minute, and I bet you deserve more. Can we set a time to talk?

. . . a co-worker asks, "Can you work for me next Tuesday?"

Say, "I can't. I have a conflict that day." If the colleague is a close friend, you might add, "Ask me another time." If you're replying to this query via e-mail, which has no tone of voice, start with a line that sounds friendly, such as, "Had a great holiday. Hope you did, too." Then say, "Sorry, I can't do this."

. . . the president of an organization calls, saying the speaker for an upcoming luncheon has just canceled and asking you to fill in. You feel that the organization is not a good fit for you or your time.

Say, "Oh, I'm sorry. I can't make that." Or, "My schedule won't permit it." A softer version would be, "I admire your group" (if that's true) "but it doesn't work with my schedule."

. . . the group's president calls back several months later, inviting you to speak next year.

Say, "I made a promise to my family and myself to do a better job allocating my time, and I'm going to have to say no."

. . . your boss asks you to do something that violates one of your core values.

Say, "I want to support you but not this initiative."

-- Laura Sessions Stepp with Jill Geisler, group leader, Poynter Institute's Leadership and Management Programs