Hasta La Vista

Oh? "The governor has stated he doesn't believe it's practical to deport 12 million illegal immigrants," Romney spokesman Kevin Madden said Thursday. Romney, though campaigning in Iowa himself, couldn't be troubled to join Tancredo at the endorsement event, and his staff issued a tepid thank-you: "While we don't agree on every issue, we agree on the need to keep America strong."

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Understandably, Romney might wish to keep some distance between himself and Tancredo, who boycotted a Spanish-language GOP presidential debate this month, calling it "Univision's Illegal Immigrant Debate." Tancredo instead released a video featuring a scantily clad woman singing in Spanish while other GOP candidates were superimposed riding on a truck with Hispanic farm workers, wearing sombreros and watching a cockfight. Romney was superimposed loitering outside a "carniceria."

It might be tempting to conclude that Tancredo's failure meant that voters had rejected such immigrant-baiting. But in the angry mind of Tancredo, his was a triumphant campaign.

"Hello, everyone! Why so dour?" he chirped as he entered the room for his announcement.

"It's beyond anybody's wildest expectations that we have been able to, with the help of America, really, get our national leaders to pay attention to the issue," declared Candidate Two Percent.

He boasted, with some validity, that his candidacy helped lead "nearly every Republican presidential candidate to commit themselves to an immigration plan that calls for securing our borders." It's true: As his rivals coopted his nativist positions -- even if just rhetorically -- Tancredo became a victim of his own success.

"I am, indeed, pleased as to how this issue has ripened," he continued. "If you think about it, it's enormous the amount of progress we have made -- something, I must admit to you, that stuns even me at this time."

Standing before the TV cameras, in front of a "Team Tancredo" backdrop (made in the U.S.A.!) the former candidate looked about as content as an angry man can get.