A Pageant You Never Saw in School

Landless Theatre Company's "A Very Merry Unauthorized Children's Scientology Pageant," opening tonight at the D.C. Arts Center in Adams Morgan, has all the trappings of a well-funded elementary school Christmas pageant: matching white robes and rainbow socks, tinsel halos, a Suri Cruise puppet.

It also has a rotating cast of preternaturally intelligent tween method actors -- adorable urchins who soften the blows as the satirical musical tells the story of L. Ron Hubbard and Scientology -- in the same manner that one might tell the story of Jesus.

You'll just want to pinch little L. Ron's cheeks when he slays wartime enemies and reasons with doubters. And though there's no doubt that this musical frequently is critical of Scientology, you might also come away understanding that its appeal is complicated.

So what's the story? Well, the all-kid cast, Christmas pageant set and cheesy boy-band score were part of the original concept for "Pageant," written by Kyle Jarrow from a concept by Alex Timbers and staged first in New York in 2003. Needless to say, it quickly exploded into a cult and critical favorite, due in no small part to the cute kids, funny title and the subversiveness of staging a musical about the creator and followers of Scientology.

$18; DCAC members $15 at the door. Thursday-Saturday at 7:30 p.m., Sunday at 3 p.m. Through Jan. 13. D.C. Arts Center, 2438 18th St. NW. Visit http://www.landlesstheatrecompany.org.

Save the Date

CONCERT: The Spice Girls They're bloody embarrassing Brit relics of the 1990s, a low point in not just music, but in the universe. An abomination. A nadir. But we'll go along with their little story that they are on a reunion tour, that they are in fact singing up there. We'll do it for Mel B, and for the off chance that it will be one hot mess. Clearly Starving Spice, Activewear Spice and She Was Totally Robbed on "Dancing With the Stars" Spice hit Verizon Center on Feb. 21. $72.50-$122.50. 601 F St. NW. 202-397-7328.

FILM: No "Spamalot" in Your Future? How's About the Real Deal? You could shell out $50-plus for a ticket to the National Theatre show (and perhaps you should, it's so good), but why not catch the AFI Silver Theatre's (considerably cheaper) screenings beginning next week of some of the Monty Python classics that informed the Broadway musical? It starts with "Monty Python and the Holy Grail," Dec. 28. Through Jan. 7, you can also see "Life of Brian," "And Now for Something Completely Different" and "The Meaning of Life." $6.75-$9.75. AFI Silver Theatre, 8633 Colesville Rd., Silver Spring. 301-495-6720.

FOR FAMILIES: A Costume Workshop for the Kids Hillwood Museum, the stately Northwest Washington home that once was the residence of Marjorie Merriweather Post, throws a family-friendly event Dec. 30 intended to teach children about the costumes worn at an old Russian imperial bash held in 1903. The dress at such a ball would have been in the style of the boyars, or nobility, and kids at the event can create their own makeshift outfits. The event includes tours of the mansion. $12 donation requested; ages 65 and older, $10; college students, $7; ages 6-18, $5. 1-5 p.m. 4155 Linnean Ave. NW. 202-686-5807.

The District

Today

EXHIBIT: "Standing on Two Eyes": Old Ways in the Face of New Times Baltimore photographer Christopher Myers shuns modern digital photography and manipulation for old-fashioned negatives, glass plates and darkroom tinkering in his series of photos at the Gallery at Flashpoint. His technique plays off the subject matter of the show: the old Baltimore landscape of vacant buildings, vanishing in favor of condos and retail development. Free. Tuesday-Saturday, noon-6 p.m. Through Dec. 29. Gallery at Flashpoint, 916 G St. NW. 202-315-1305.

FILM: "Christmas in Darfur?" So it's not exactly "water-skiing Santa." But for the intellectually inclined, it is a holiday sort of outing, though with a deep social message. "Christmas in Darfur?" is a film by three Chicagoans (one, the Modernist Society's Jason Mojica, now calls Washington home) who decided last December to reject the media's reports of the crisis in Darfur and just go see for themselves, documenting their Everyman travels (read: without the clout of, say, George Clooney) to the Chad-Sudan border. A rough cut of the film is screened tonight at Bourbon in Adams Morgan. Afterward, Laura Burhenn of Georgie James will DJ the after-party. $5. 8 p.m. 2321 18th St. NW. 202-332-0800. For a clip and more on the trip, visit http://www.christmasindarfur.blogspot.com.

Tomorrow

CONCERT: Rufus Wainwright The pop singer with the voice of gold recently re-created, down to the order of the songs, Judy Garland's 1961 Carnegie Hall concert. Now he's on a short U.S. tour that will bring him Washington's way for two dates at the 9:30 club, tomorrow and Saturday (and that's more than any other city gets). The word is that he has been slipping in a couple of Garland tunes among stuff from his new album, "Release the Stars." His sister Lucy Wainwright Roche (her mom is Suzzy Roche of the Roches) opens. $35. 8 both nights. 815 V St. NW. 800-955-5566.

Saturday

CLOSING: "Furnishing the Self -- Upholstering the Soul" Hemphill's show spotlighting the inner interior decorator of Talking Heads founder David Byrne, along with James Huckenpahler's show "Mindless Pleasures," closes Saturday. "Furnishing" features Byrne's drawings of chairs embroidered on upholstery fabric, photographs and even sculptures of chairs made out of such materials as dry macaroni. Free. 10 a.m.-5 p.m. daily through Saturday. 1515 14th St. NW. 202-234-5601.

Maryland

Today

THE HOLIDAYS: Lights Festival at the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints Your kids think it's Snow White's castle, and you can't help but look every time you pass it on the Beltway. This time of year, there's reason to get a little closer to the palatial white Mormon temple in Kensington: For its 30th season, the temple's visitors center hosts a month of performances and a display of lights nightly until the new year (it's even open Christmas Day). Free. Dusk-10 p.m. (concerts at 7 and 8 p.m.). Through Jan. 1. 9900 Stonybrook Dr., Kensington. 301-587-0144.

THE HOLIDAYS: Brookside Gardens Bundle up for the MoCo park's lights display, a walking trail this year themed "The Four Seasons" and featuring snowmen and igloo scenes for winter, lighted sunflowers for summer, and so on. $15 per car or van (cash only). 5:30-9 p.m. today through Sunday (last car admitted at 8:30); also open Wednesday. Various dates through Jan. 6. 1800 Glenallan Ave., Wheaton. 301-962-1453.

Tomorrow

THE SCENE: The "Unsilent Night" Boombox Christmas Parade Fifteen years ago, experimental musician Phil Kline debuted his "walking sound sculpture," the ambient song "Unsilent Night," on the streets of New York. The work had the public carrying boomboxes, each playing the recording, as they walked the streets -- "caroling" without actually using their voices. Since that 1992 performance, nearly 30 cities have held their own "Unsilent Night" parades. And tomorrow, Baltimore hosts its second annual walk. Attendees get various parts of the composition on cassette or CD, and everyone hits play at the same time and walks for a 45-minute parade. Those without boomboxes are also invited to walk. Saxophonist Brian Sacawa will lead the performance. Free. Meet at 7:45 p.m. Washington Monument, 600 N. Charles St., Baltimore. http://www.unsilentbaltimore.com. 520-820-7740.

Northern Virginia

Today

CONCERT: Stillborn Fest Just the show you want to see this holiday season! Connecticut's Hatebreed headlines this heavy-metal blowout, which also includes Agnostic Front and hard-core hip-hop act Necro and others, on a pretty long bill at Jaxx tonight. The show starts at 4:30. $25. 6355 Rolling Rd., West Springfield. 703-569-5940.

THE SCENE: Holiday Party/Wine Tasting As Washington Wine Academy and the Arlington Cinema 'N' Drafthouse serve chocolates and cheese, you celebrate in the barlike environs of the theater, with live music and wine chosen to pair with the food. Alcoholic beverages, including wine, are extra. $10. 9 p.m. Arlington Cinema 'N' Drafthouse, 2903 Columbia Pike, Arlington. 703-486-2345.

Tomorrow

ON STAGE: "Good for the Jews" New York duo Rob Tannenbaum and David Fagin make good fun of being Jewish with their show, a variety act that includes selections such as "Shiksas Are for Practice," "Hot Jewish Chicks" and "Reuben the Hook-Nosed Reindeer" (its lyrics: "Pays wholesale for all the toys/As you can plainly see, he's Santa's MVP/And Santa is his Shabbos goy"). The show is at the Birchmere tomorrow and Saturday. $19.50. 7:30 p.m. both nights. 3701 Mount Vernon Ave., Alexandria. 202-397-7328.