The Candidates and The Late-Night Returns

By Lisa de Moraes
Thursday, January 3, 2008

After an unscheduled, writers' strike-induced two-month hiatus, CBS's David Letterman returned last night with Democratic presidential hopeful Hillary Clinton and his writers. NBC's Jay Leno, on the other hand, returned with no writers but lots of picketers -- and Republican hopeful Mike Huckabee, who does not appear to be able to distinguish between Leno and Letterman and yet is running for president of the United States.

Letterman's show is the one that last week struck an interim deal with the Writers Guild of America in order to return to the air with his writers. And yet, most industry navel gazers expected Leno's much-ballyhooed return to the airwaves -- without a deal with the union -- would cop a larger audience, at least initially, because it's probably news to most viewers that these shows have writers. Besides, some reasoned, late-night shows are actually better when they're flying blind.

Clinton did a cold open on Letterman's "Late Show" -- maybe the show's coldest cold opening ever:

"Dave has been off the air for eight long weeks. Because of the writers' strike. Tonight, he's back. Oh, well. All good things come to an end."

See what we mean?

Meanwhile, Huckabee entertained Leno's crowd. "The Tonight Show" has no deal with writers and therefore is a "struck" show, as are Conan O'Brien's and Jimmy Kimmel's.

So why was Huckabee so fired up to cross the picket line and appear on Leno's show on the eve of the Iowa caucus? Well, to tell Leno's millions of viewers that, like Bill Clinton, he is from Hope, Ark., although Clinton moved away when he was "like 7 years old and went to Hot Springs, [but] when he ran for president somehow it just didn't sound right to say, 'I believe in a place called Hot Springs.' " And to let them know that he, like Clinton, plays an instrument. In Huckabee's case, it's a bass guitar. He told Leno's audience that his parents got him a guitar from a JCPenney catalogue for Christmas of '66. "It was a big sacrifice for them, but I played that guitar until my fingers nearly bled," he said.

The day before Leno's return to the air, Huckabee was prattling on merrily to the news media about what an "incredible opportunity" it would be to appear on Leno's show, "particularly the very first night he's back."

"Besides, if all else fails and this whole process doesn't work out, maybe he needs a sidekick and I'll be auditioning tomorrow," Huckabee joked.

But yesterday, while traveling from Fort Dodge to Mason City, Iowa, Huckabee was asked about the whole "scab" thing.

The candidate explained to reporters traveling with him, including one from the Associated Press, that he did not think he would have to cross a picket line to appear on Leno's show because the writers had made a deal to allow late-night shows back on the air.

"My understanding is that there was a special arrangement made for the late-night shows," he said, according to the AP.

Hooey, said an NBC insider, who reminded The TV Column that Huckabee was booked to appear on Leno's show long before Letterman's Worldwide Pants struck that deal with the guild last week to enable his and Craig Ferguson's CBS late-night shows to return with their writers.

"I support the writers, by the way, unequivocally, absolutely," Huckabee also said yesterday on the campaign trail.

"They're dead right on this one. And they ought to get royalties off the residuals and the long-term contracts."

When told he was wrong regarding Leno and WGA interim deal, Huckabee said, "Hmmm" and "Oh," the AP reported.

Picketing writers whom Huckabee supports unequivocally and absolutely returned the favor yesterday by marching in front of NBC's Burbank headquarters, carrying signs that said, among other things, "Huckabee Is a Scab." An NBC insider said that the network had made arrangements for Huckabee to enter the Burbank complex without having to encounter the picketers.

Later in the day, Huckabee abandoned his Play Dumb Strategy in favor of an Accentuate the Positive Campaign:

"The Governor would only agree to join Jay, an active member of the Writers Guild, for the taping after he was assured that no replacement writers were being used in the show's production," a Huckabee rep said in a statement e-mailed to The TV Column late yesterday.

"Governor Huckabee believes that the writers deserve to be fairly compensated for the sale of their work. Governor Huckabee is glad that Jay Leno was able to put his 160 employees back to work, and he strongly encourages both sides of the current labor dispute to work diligently toward an equitable solution for all parties involved."

The Writers Guild of America West weighed in on Huckabee's appearance with unusual restraint, saying it was "disappointed" that Huckabee "crossed the WGA picket line today at NBC."

"We welcome the statements of support he has made for striking writers, but we ask him to respect our picket lines in the future," the guild added.

The guild is battling the Alliance of Motion Picture and Television Producers over residuals for programs streamed on the Internet as well as whether the guild will represent writers on reality-TV programming, among other issues. When the guild launched its strike on Nov. 5, Letterman, Ferguson, Leno, O'Brien and ABC's Kimmel were thrown into repeats. All returned to the air last night.

Unlike Letterman's and Ferguson's shows, both produced by Worldwide Pants, the other three late-night shows are owned by the networks. Leno, O'Brien and Kimmel, all WGA members who had been paying their non-writing staffs since their respective networks laid those employees off last month, said two weeks ago they were reluctantly returning to the air on Jan. 2.

Even so, the Writers Guild put out an APB to members telling them to picket the shows, while insisting guild leadership would make clear to the news media "nothing at all personal or defamatory is intended" and they were picketing the companies for which the shows are produced -- not the hosts. Officially, the guild says Leno, O'Brien and Kimmel are being forced back on the air by their employers.

Even so, many writers who work in late-night TV broke ranks and are refusing to participate in those picket lines because, they say, it is unfair to the hosts.

"I am not picketing today," Chris Albers, monologue writer for O'Brien's "Late Night," told The TV Column.

"I don't want to be part of any picket of any special show and host," continued Albers, a past Writers Guild East president.

However good the guild's intentions, the news media are sure to cover this story as picketing going on against the three late-night hosts; already, Albers said yesterday, he's seen headlines to that effect.

Other late-night writers with whom he'd been in contact also felt the pickets would hurt show hosts who "aren't fortunate enough to own their own shows," as Letterman does.

"We shouldn't punish other hosts because they're not capable of making [the Worldwide Pants] deal because they don't control that destiny. It's been unanimous among every writer I've spoken to," Albers said.

"Letterman has his writers back -- that's enough of an advantage. I don't think we need to punish these guys more than that."

"Dave was able to get a deal because Dave has his own company," Leno told his audience last night. "I don't blame him for getting a deal -- God bless him. We have to go by ourselves up against the CBS machine." Leno said he went back to work because when talks broke down between the writers and the studios "we have essentially 19 [writers] putting 160 [staffers] out of work."

As some striking writers had predicted, getting Letterman back on the air proved far more damaging to the AMPTP than keeping Letterman off the air.

Last night, Rockette-ish dancers sported "WGA on Strike" placards, and striking writers from other shows -- including Comedy Central's "The Daily Show With Jon Stewart" and "The Colbert Report," and two of NBC's "Law & Order" dramas and Albers from O'Brien's show -- read the show's nightly top-10 list, this time titled "Demands of Striking Writers":

10. Complimentary tote bag with next insulting contract offer.

9. No rollbacks in health benefits, so I can treat the hypothermia I caught on the picket lines.

8. Full salary and benefits for my imaginary writing partner, Lester.

7. Members of the AMPTP must explain what the hell AMPTP stands for.

6. No disciplinary action taken against any writer caught having inappropriate relationship with a copier.

5. I'd like a date with a woman.

4. Hazard pay for breaking up fights on "The View."

3. I'm no accountant, but instead of us getting 4 cents for a $20 DVD, how about we get $20 for a 4-cent DVD?

2. I don't have a joke -- I just want to remind everyone that we're on strike, so none of us are responsible for this lame list.

1. Producers must immediately remove their heads from their [heinies].

Now, aren't you grateful his writers are back?

Those who didn't have writers to pen such gems muddled through as best they could.

O'Brien talked about his strike beard. Like Letterman, he has not shaved since the strike started two months ago.

He also talked about the work stoppage:

"This has been a tough time, not only for our show but for a lot of people in the entertainment industry," O'Brien told his audience at the top of his show.

"Good people right now are out of work. And possibly worse, with all the late-night shows off the air, Americans have been forced to read books and occasionally even speak to one another, which is horrifying. My biggest wish is that [writers] get a great deal very quickly and get back here because we desperately need them on the show. Think about it: Triumph the Insult Comic Dog, the Masturbating Bear, the Walker Texas Ranger Lever -- it's all writing. Well, not the Masturbating Bear. That's just instinct."