At Darkest Moment, Gibbs Found Spark

Later, Gibbs would use the term "surrender" to capture his mind-set at the time, saying Taylor's death had made him realize how powerless he was to affect every outcome. In perhaps unintended ways, that humility also influenced his changing role as the Redskins' coach in the weeks ahead.

In the interview this week, Gibbs said he had a spiritual awakening over the past month. His steadfast views as an evangelical Christian didn't change, he said, but he began to look hard and long at his own motivations behind spreading the message of his faith.

"I kind of had gone through these four years and I found myself sayin', 'Hey, Lord, you know, I really want to win football games and wind up coming out of this with a platform that I can honor you,' " Gibbs said. "That's what I was trying to say to the Lord. And it really caused some soul-searching for me because I realized probably in there that I was probably kidding myself and kidding the Lord.

"What I was doing was probably wanting it a lot for myself and not really being honest with the Lord," he continued. "And I think I needed to ask him for forgiveness on that. What I should be sayin' is what he wants. I should be sayin,' this is what God wants, not what I want."

The three-hour funeral service became an emotional celebration of Taylor's life. Several players and coaches said they left Miami feeling the funeral had permitted them to focus on their profession again.

"There was a finality to it, but yet there was a rejoicing," said Gregg Williams, the team's assistant head coach-defense. "Once I shed the final tear, I had a smile on my face because other people got to know the kid I already knew."

On the plane ride home, kick return specialist Rock Cartwright sat next to his girlfriend and wept. Defensive lineman Demetric Evans sat near the emergency exit row in the middle with his wife, Aungel. Running back Ladell Betts sat one row in front of Evans and defensive back Vernon Fox sat behind him. Linebacker London Fletcher sat next to team owner Daniel Snyder, who had chartered the flight. After they spoke about Taylor, Fletcher listened as Snyder specifically went over what the team needed to do to win.

"The points he was making were very valid points, just about finishing teams better, how, when we had a team down, the attitude we needed to take to put them away," Fletcher said.

Nearby, Gibbs was deep in thought about what he would tell his team the next day.

"Right after we came back from Sean's, I had to make a decision what we were going to do that week," he said. "I knew that, confidence-wise, we were up against it. I had to do something, so I came up with the idea, 'Look, we played the best. Why wouldn't we think we could play with other people up here?' "

In the hours between the Bills game and the team meeting, Gibbs also would meet with his assistants and the players' leadership council.

When he spoke with the team the Tuesday morning after the funeral, players on both the offense and defense said they were buoyed by Gibbs's sudden display of moxie as he compared them with the best teams in the conference.