Catholics Rethink Quinceañera Craze

Monica Reyes is the model pupil. Once her quinceañera is over, the high school junior her sister calls a "girl's girl" will be allowed to go to parties and date, as many of her classmates do. But Reyes isn't eager to join them.

"I'm still too young," she said. "I could have a bad experience. So I'd rather wait."

In Mexico and other Latin American countries, the quinceañera once signaled that a girl was officially on the marriage market. The downside to that legacy: The quinceañera Mass is sometimes seen as a sexual coming-of-age moment.

Although teen pregnancy rates have generally been in decline across ethnic lines over the past 15 years, 51 percent of Hispanic girls get pregnant before age 20, according to the National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy.

"Even now, immigrant parents don't talk to their young daughters about sex," said Timothy Matovina, director of the Cushwa Center for the Study of American Catholicism at the University of Notre Dame. "There is not an open conversation going on about the value of waiting till marriage or the economic pitfalls of becoming a single mother."

Matovina said the efforts of the Denver Archdiocese will resonate with some families and be ignored by others, much like couples who go through the motions of marriage preparation classes to get a church wedding.

A blend of European court traditions and ceremonies from Latin American countries, the quinceañera at times has the feel of an out-of-control prom in the United States.

A $400 million-a-year industry has sprouted up to cater to Hispanic immigrants seeking to maintain cultural traditions while showing they've made it in their new countries. It offers everything from quinceañera planners and cruises to professional ballroom dancers to teach the ceremonial waltz.

At the same time, the ritual is a point of tension with the Catholic Church because Catholic families want their faith to be part of the celebration, yet it isn't a sacrament, like marriage.

The Reyes family does not attend Mass regularly but would never consider the quinceañera legitimate without the blessing of a priest. A portrait of Our Lady of Guadalupe watches over the living room of the family's apartment.

"The reason to have the Mass is to be blessed, and to say thanks to God," said Monica's mother, Luz.

The family spared no expense, and the tension showed at times. Walking out of St. Joseph's in her gold lam¿ dress, Luz Reyes said to no one in particular, "Money, money, money."

The family estimates it spent a staggering $20,000 on the quincea¿era, relying on savings, family and friends to pay for two limos, rental of a banquet hall, a buffet of Mexican and American foods, dresses, a DJ and more.

The cost is one reason that Monica's 14-year-old sister, Marisol, shared the church altar and dance floor with her older sister. The family couldn't fathom finding the money for another quincea¿era so soon.

Lara said one goal of the classes is to send the message that it's fine to arrive at church in a minivan instead of a Hummer -- unless there's plenty of money to send the girl to college, too.

The expense is worth it to the Reyes family, even if only now will they begin saving for college.

"It's a prize for them being good," Luz Reyes said.

It's also the American dream realized. Reyes is giving her daughters something she never got growing up in Ciudad Juarez, Mexico, where her quincea¿era dress was a tattered gown and dessert was a simple layer cake.

There were perhaps 15 people at the Reyeses' quincea¿era Mass. The rental hall, Martha's Golden Palace, has a capacity of 500, and Monica welcomed most of her classmates, a favorite teacher and the police officer assigned to her high school.

After an hour, the DJ turned down the deafening border music and strobe lights and played the waltz that Monica and her court had been practicing for weeks in her apartment complex parking lot.

Later, Monica wiped away tears as she danced with her grandfather.

On the dance floor, she changed from flat shoes into heels, signaling her departure from childhood.

Her first meal as a woman was a bowl of beans washed down with strawberry soda.

"The big thing isn't to have a party," Monica said. "It's that you're going from a little girl to a woman. You're thanking God you have been in this world for 15 years."