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Results of Week 564
These are the results of the Week 564 contest, as published May 10, 1998, in The Style Invitational:
Report from Week 564, in which we asked you to give new definitions for existing words. ... There's a trick to reading some of these entries: You have to pronounce the words differently. For example, the first Honorable Mention below is pronounced as a one-syllable word. Get it? Good. No? Aw, c'mon, look at it again.
Third Runner-Up: Apiary: An apartment shared by three bachelors. (Jon Reiser, Hilton, N.Y.)
Second Runner-Up: Registry: To give your final answer. (Ry Schwark, West Linn, Ore.)
First Runner-Up, winner of the "Mona Lisa" paint-by-numbers set: Juggernaut: A flat-chested woman. (Maja Keech, New Carrollton)
And the winner of the Inker: Gypsum: The primary ingredient in car undercoating. (Chuck Smith, Woodbridge)
A Dictionary of Honorable Mentions
Abed: Defeated in a debate. (Tom Witte, Montgomery Village)
Alleviate: When you realize there isn't a word for it on the tip of your tongue, you invent a neologism. (Phil Frankenfeld, Washington)
Asinine: Seven of Nine's ex-husband. (Stephen Dudzik, Olney)
Asinine: An almost perfect derriere. (Robin D. Grove, Chevy Chase)
Aspic: Vote. (Ned Bent, Oak Hill)
Bedpan: To have an affair with a man who never grew up. (Chris Doyle, Forsyth, Mo.)