Three Wise Guys

(By Danny Hellman)
By Joe Heim, Justin Rude and Dan Zak
Sunday, January 27, 2008

Dear Wise Guys:

My fiance is under the impression that the bathroom fan is only a stink-eliminating device, whereas I think its purpose is to get rid of excess steam from the shower, with no anti-odorous qualities. What's the bathroom fan really supposed to be used for?

-- Steph

Dan: White noise. In most half-bathrooms, the fan is there to mask any noise associated with bodily functions. As for full baths with tubs or showers, some fans do double duty: noise masking and steam removing. No bathroom fan I've seen has enough suck to eliminate a good stink.

Justin: Not so fast. According to Larry Johnson of local remodelers Globe Bath and Kitchen, a properly installed bathroom fan "should be vented to the exterior and not only provide a means to move odors but also pull out humidity." You might want to see if your fan is installed properly, Dan.

Dear Wise Guys:

I got married last summer (to a perfectly great guy). The other night my husband was grumpy because he was in bed and I wasn't. My mother told me that husbands are always grumpy. A few guys at work confirmed that when I told them. They laughed and said everyone knows that and they would have told me if asked.

I've now heard several rationales from other guys in the office on said topic. However, they are not "very good-looking" men getting paid to answer these questions. So my questions are: Why are all husbands grumpy, and why didn't I know this before I got married?

-- Danna

Joe: Well, if he was in bed and you weren't I can think of at least one reason he might be grumpy. But as a rule, I don't think marriage leads to immediate grumpiness in husbands. That has to be earned over the years and exhibited only to the degree that your wife sees it less as grumpiness than as charming crankiness. Clearly your husband thinks he can skip these formative years, but you need to disabuse him of this notion. Tell him to stop whining.

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