The Not-So-Quiet Set of Civic Involvement

So I'm all revved up to get to my first municipal meeting as a homeowner. I leave work early. Skip dinner. Pen and paper? Check. After all, it has been less than two months since my husband and I put renting in the rearview mirror, and after painting, spackling, drilling, sanding and raking, I feel ready to kick it up a notch in terms of my commitment to this li'l piece of the rock called the District of Columbia.

Off we go to a D.C. Water and Sewer Authority meeting about lead pipes and why WASA thinks it might not be essential to drinking-water quality to continue replacing them with copper.

Or that's what we thought was being held Wednesday at the Southeast Tennis and Learning Center in Anacostia. But within minutes, it seemed like we'd stumbled into a mockumentary about civic life.

So much energy was spent on bickering and sniping that, two hours after the meeting began, it wasn't clear whether our drinking water was fine or whether the city really should replace the lead pipes but has more pressing issues.

WASA General Manager Jerry N. Johnson could barely make his case because Hostile Environmentalist riddled him with questions and was fixated on keeping her tripod-mounted camera trained on him a couple of feet away. He eventually reached over and snapped the camera shut.

What appeared to be racial tensions seemed to blow up out of nowhere. Neighborhood Rep (who was black), who had his own set of questions, got fed up with Hostile Environmentalist (who was white) and became Angry Neighborhood Rep. He chastised her manners with a loud, curt: "You're in MY house now -- MY house!"

Lanky Quiet Guy complained that the meeting wasn't well publicized. When Small Older Woman in the back challenged that assertion, Quiet Guy went loud. "You're on WASA's payroll!" he shouted, pointing at her, then shouted even louder (and inexplicably): "I WILL defend myself -- PHYSICALLY!"

WASA and Environmental Protection Agency employees ringed the room, matching in number the crowd of maybe a dozen, including representatives of two environmental watchdog groups.

I was half expecting someone to yell: "Cut!"

While all this was going on, Johnson didn't seem to know his data well and joked about not knowing how to pronounce "orthophosphate," the chemical WASA credits with reducing lead levels in city water. Behind him on the overhead screen flashed a giant photo of a woman, eyes closed in apparent ecstasy, drinking a glass of water.

So what do you recommend we do? my husband calmly asked Johnson at the end of the meeting, prompting a nasty look from one of the environmentalists, who apparently felt he was selling his soul to the devil.

"Just flush the lines for a bit before you drink," an official responded with a confident nod.

As we finally walked out, amazed and stupefied, we wondered which part we played in the caricature.

-- Michelle Boorstein, staff writer

The second of five hearings is from 6:30 to 8:30 tonight in the meeting room of the Old Naval Hospital, 921 Pennsylvania Ave. SE.