There Is Plenty on His Mind

(Julia Ewan - Twp)
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Monday, February 4, 2008


Tony Kornheiser: It is go time, boys and girls. And we begin with Paula Abdul's preposterous performance. They put her on three hours before the Super Bowl because any closer to the game and a hundred million people would have gagged up lunch. . . .

As an entertainer to be judged on the quality of her singing and dancing, she is a joke. Simon would not give her the gold ticket to Hollywood. If Tom Petty is this bad, he will be booed from the stage. . . .

Tony Kornheiser: What are they doing now? Who is this guy with a quill pen and a wig? Do I need a history lesson? This could be time better used with a new Paula Abdul video.

trevano: this is ridiculous. TextileWolf: Tony. . . . recite the Magna Carta on 'MNF' next year.

Tony Kornheiser: I honestly don't get this. Fox is the network of "Prison Break"! How did they suddenly come down with PBS envy? . . .

I will bet you that most of the players in this don't even vote!

davevt31: If you look real close at the Declaration, you see that one Tony Kornheiser signed it.

Tony Kornheiser: Yes, I signed it right under Gouverneur Morris.

The Game

Tony Kornheiser: Wasn't that a fumble? I don't know. I'm on "Monday Night Football," and it's Sunday night. . . . [Tom] Brady also looks like he's hobbling on handoffs. Everybody who said this ankle was nothing may be wrong. . . . This is an actual game, people. Manning has had a lot more time than Brady and Brady has, as yet, not looked sharp.

Tony Kornheiser: What the Patriots desperately need at halftime is to analyze the film they've illegally taken in the first half and ride "Spygate" -- duh! -- to victory. That shot of [Patriots owner Robert] Kraft, he was trying to trade [Randy] Moss at halftime, since he's so unproductive in the playoffs.

[Moss makes his only catch of the first half, for 18 yards]

Tony Kornheiser: Oops.

The Commercials

Tony Kornheiser: Okay, this is good. Diet Pepsi Max was good, especially Joe Buck at the end. Get these salesgenie ads off the air. Get all virtual ads off the air. Now. Put the salesgenie in a big bag with the Esurance ads and ship them to some country where they don't have television. . . . I think I've seen the Under Armour ad before or one very much like it. It doesn't do much for me. It's too militaristic.

Other Stuff

kbe6380: Hi Tony. Quick question: Why do you think no sports reporter is writing about Spygate?

Tony Kornheiser: I wonder if Arlen Specter will be filming this game surreptitiously. Let me ask a serious question: Don't you think Iraq is a bigger issue for Specter to care about than football? . . . This is not a Rose Mary Woods situation. Football isn't that important. If it was, I wouldn't be doing 'MNF.' They wouldn't let me.


Tony Kornheiser: I just talked to Wilbon in Arizona. He says he's a little tired, but other than that, he's fine . He says he hopes the Giants get to Brady and smash him and win. . . . Wilbon hates all the commercials except -- and this was a 100 percent lock -- the Barkley commercial. Because he is in Barkley's Fave 5 and hopes to be in Wade's.

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