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Check the Chocolates, Flowers at the Door

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The event is meant to be more social than most Speakeasy gatherings, so you'll have the chance to chat, even if it's sans mike.

VALENTINE'S DAY STORY SOCIAL Thursday from 8 to 10. Hosted by SpeakeasyDC. Sova Coffee House and Wine Bar, 1359 H St. NE. 240-888-9751.http://www.speakeasydc.org. $10.

A Laugh Riot

There's a man named Cisco who'd like to spend Valentine's Day with you. He promises to be on time, to share his sangria and to keep you laughing all night. The man is a professional, after all. Comedian. A professional comedian -- come on, now. The folks at Riot Act Entertainment are taking over Los Arrieros restaurant in Silver Spring to give this day of romance a little comic relief. Cisco, who hails from California and was a featured performer on "Loco Comedy Jam," will be joined by three other comedians to better serve your wisecracking needs.

CISCO AND FRIENDS Thursday and Feb. 15 at 8:30. Los Arrieros, 7926 Georgia Ave., Silver Spring. 202-625-6229 (Riot Act Entertainment),http://www.riotactcomedy.com. $20.

Big on Burlesque?

Burlesque-a-Pades is a tradition now. Valentine's Day rolls around, and a bevy of voluptuous beauties roll into the Birchmere to whirl, twirl and tease their way into your hearts. Among the acts ready to razzle-dazzle: Angie Pontani and the World Famous Pontani Sisters, Melody Sweets, Peekaboo Pointe (a.k.a., the Delinquent Darling of Burlesque) and the Fisherman Xylophonic Orchestra. You might want to bring a noisemaker of your own if you really want to show the love.

BURLESQUE-A-PADES Thursday at 7:30. Birchmere, 3701 Mount Vernon Ave., Alexandria. 703-549-7500.http://www.birchmere.com. $19.50.

Fightin' Words

Not feeling it this year? Sweet. Neither are the ladies of Mothertongue. They'd love to have you there to commiserate at their annual Anti-Valentine's Day Slam on Wednesday. The local women's spoken-word group even has a $200 prize for the best performance of the evening.

Things will be a little looser the next night at Black Cat's annual V-Day Rock and Roll Dance Party. It'll be doo-wop and the best of the early stuff in the Red Room. Saddle shoes and poodle skirts optional.

MOTHERTONGUE ANTI-VALENTINE'S DAY SLAM Wednesday at 9. $10. Feb. 13. Black Cat, 1811 14th St. NW. 202-667-7960.http://www.blackcatdc.com. $10.

ROCK AND ROLL DANCE PARTY Thursday at 8. Black Cat, 1811 14th St. NW. 202-667-7960.http://www.blackcatdc.com. Free.

As You Wish . . .

Buttercup. Westley. Andre the Giant and Fred Savage. You know all the words. You tear up every time. The Arlington Cinema 'N' Drafthouse folks are no fools: They've got "The Princess Bride" on the big screen this Valentine's Day. And if that's not enough to put you in the mood, show up early for a pre-show wine tasting and stand-up comedy session.

THE PRINCESS BRIDE Thursday. Doors open at 6:30; movie starts at 8:15. Arlington Cinema 'N' Drafthouse, 2903 Columbia Pike, Arlington. 703-486-2345.http://www.arlingtondrafthouse.com. $8.


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