Week 752: The Might-Mates Rite
"You just might be a . . . if . . .": It's a joke form so well worn that you can see right through to the polka dots on its boxer shorts. But then again, so is the three-panel comic strip -- and it can still yield plenty of original humor in the hand of the right creator. That would be you, yes? This week: Fill out any of these five "you just might" joke-templates:
You just might be an embarrassment to your child if . . .
You just might be from Georgetown if . . .
You just might not be an animal rights enthusiast if . . .
You just might have a substance abuse problem if . . .
You just might need a new car soon if . . .
Winner gets the Inker, the official Style Invitational trophy. Second place gets this smolderin' cool J.S. Bach action figure, donated by Randy Lee of Burke. Okay, he may not be all that dynamic to look at, but he comes with a seriously sweet prop: a stool to sit on! Do that harpsichord thing, Sebastian!
Other runners-up win their choice of a coveted Style Invitational Loser T-shirt or yearned-for Loser Mug. Honorable Mentions get one of the lusted-after Style Invitational Magnets. One prize per entrant per week. Send your entries by e-mail to email@example.com or by fax to 202-334-4312. Deadline is Monday, Feb. 18. Put "Week 752" in the subject line of your e-mail, or it risks being ignored as spam. Include your name, postal address and phone number with your entry. Contests are judged on the basis of humor and originality. All entries become the property of The Washington Post. Entries may be edited for taste or content. Results will be published March 8. No purchase required for entry. Employees of The Washington Post, and their immediate relatives, are not eligible for prizes. Pseudonymous entries will be disqualified. This week's contest and Honorable Mentions name were both suggested by Kevin Dopart. The revised title for next week's contest is by Chris Doyle.
Report From Week 748
our annual contest in which we seek poems about those who died in the previous year: As usual, we had far too many outstanding verses than we could fit in the paper; you can find more of the Honorable Mentions at washingtonpost.com/styleinvitational.
4. Jerry Falwell:
Not for being greatly good --
Not because he knew he would --
Jerry Falwell's gone above,
Unto his Creator's love,
Spending every night and day
With angels black and angels gay.
God our Father knows us all well;
Knows what's Hell for Jerry Falwell.
( David Smith, Santa Cruz, Calif.)
3. Lady Bird Johnson: