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I Do, but You Don't.
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At times, Russell feels guilty about that, which, in a strange twist, occasionally makes her act out. "It's mostly me feeling like I'm not able to do as much, so I get frustrated, and I probably take my frustration out on him," she said.
They used to have a joint bank account, but she bounced a few checks. "He gets super-frustrated if I bounce a check," she said.
So they decided to use separate accounts. "It became very stressful for me to try to do everything," Guzman said. He has helped her with her student loans and car payment, and she's paying her credit card bills. She tries to make up for it by taking him out on a date occasionally.
Guzman and Russell have been honest with each other about their finances, which counselors and advisers said goes a long way. Too often, one partner hides his or her debt.
"You need to have full disclosure with your partner and be transparent with your finances," Tashman said. "Later on if it's discovered, a lie of omission ends up being the same thing as a lie of commission."
Guzman and Russell get along in every other way, so an occasional dispute over money is manageable. "I view ourselves as equal in the sense that I never say to her, 'You make a lot less money,' " he said. "I never feel any resentment."
"Despite our few fights, they're nothing compared to what I hear from other people," she said. "He's my life partner."
