And the Oscar for Best Fake Bruise Goes to . . .

We didn't even know there was a fluid community, but his colleague, Nafees Bin Zafar, seemingly overcome with emotion, says, "Fluid effects rock, and everyone who works in fluids knows this." There's robust applause from the audience. Zafar then thanks his company for giving him "something meaningful to do in my mid-20s," and says finally, "I'd like to thank Mom and Dad" (wait for it, wait for it) "for teaching me math."

Tonight's surprise awards presenter is Jessica Alba, who is as cute as she is pregnant. Without the work of the people in this room, the actress says, her movie "Fantastic Four" would just be "Four." To do her job tonight, Alba is required to read highly technical descriptions of the inventions from a teleprompter, and perhaps it is not the fault of the writers' strike that these descriptions contain the same love of language as an instruction manual for a DVD player. At one point, stumbling over an especially knotty phrase, Alba tells us, "There's a lot of words here, if anyone is interested." (Thanking her later, Edlund tells the audience, "She sounded like she actually knew what she was talking about," and she got a nice round of applause for that -- the trouper.)

The first award of the night goes to Christien Tinsley, inventor of Tinsley Transfers, now the industry standard for the application of makeup such as tattoos, bruises, birthmarks, scars and small wounds. And Hollywood is nothing if not in the market for tissue-thin, resilient, flexible, water-resistant small wounds that require no dangerous solvents. Remember "The Passion of the Christ"? Remember how Mel Gibson's Jesus looked after the Roman centurions got through with him? That was no miracle (cinematically). That was Tinsley Transfers. What did you do, invent this goop in your garage? "Believe it or not," says Tinsley, "I did."

The vibe at the Geek Oscars is "international nerd." The winners represent countries such as Germany, Japan, Spain and the United States. They are also almost exclusively male. Many are young. Some are slightly nervous, though no one does a Sally Field (but one inventor admits, "I never thought I could win an Academy Award, because I am only a computer scientist").

Sebastian Cramer, upon winning for his Skater Dolly, confesses he finds his invention "looks so sexy. If I can have it, I would want it." Who wouldn't want, with Valentine's Day just around the corner, a small, portable camera dolly that allows for movement in restricted spaces? (During Alba's intro, the big screen showed the Skater Dolly at work, filming a bowl of fruit.)

Speaking of Alba, who was a good sport throughout, Duncan Brinsmead, of the Maya Fluid Effects System, gets off the best line of the night when he says, "For a computer geek like me to be hearing Jessica Alba talking about stable semi-Lagrangian fluid flow is just great." Later, Stanford University computer science professor Ron Fedkiw, whose film credits include "Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines," spends the last 10 seconds of his acceptance speech noting his amazement at being "10 feet away from the most beautiful woman in the world."

(Jessica, FYI: Ron works on the simulation of large-scale water effects and is a consultant at Industrial Light & Magic, George Lucas's famous special effects shop in San Francisco.)

When the grand old man of special effects, David Grafton, rises to take his lifetime achievement for lens design, he signs off nicely, with "May the force be with you."