Clarification to This Article
This article on the Poly Living convention, song lyrics as sung by attendees were slightly different from the official version. The official lyrics, written by Ben Silver, are "Bonnie lives with her sweetheart Jen / And with Jen's husband, whose name is Glenn."

Pairs With Spares

By Monica Hesse
Washington Post Staff Writer
Wednesday, February 13, 2008


I have a love whose name is Johnny

He is dating my best friend Bonnie

The audience members at the annual Poly Living convention -- think hippies, retired science teachers, a high quotient of male ponytails -- are singing, in round, what might be the only song ever written about polyamory.

She lives with her sweetheart Jen

And Jen's husband whose name is Glenn

It's a lifestyle that has been alternatively misidentified as Swinging, Wife Swapping and Really Greedy.

Now they raise their kids together

And are happy more than ever.

Polyamory isn't about sex, polys tell you. It is about love. It is about loving your primary partner enough to love that they have a new secondary partner, even when their New Relationship Energy with that person leaves you, briefly, out in the cold. It's about loving yourself enough to acknowledge that your needs cannot be met by one loving person. It's about loving love enough to embrace it in unexpected form -- like maybe in the form of your primary's new secondary! -- in which case you may all form a triad and live happily together.

That kind of love.

And so some 100 people, a small fraction of the 15,000 polys on the mailing list of convention sponsor Loving More, have gathered at a Holiday Inn off the Pennsylvania Turnpike for two days of seminars with such titles as "Hap-Poly Ever After: Long-Term Poly Partnership" and "Kids and Poly Relationships: A Human Relations Primer About Melding All Your Loves."

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