Fed up with Valentine's Day and all its kissy-kissy, Splenda-dipped sentimentality? You're not alone.
Over the past several years, a growing anti-Valentine's Day movement has blossomed among those who've grown weary of the holiday's pushy consumerism and cloying romanticism -- not just the bitter, the forlorn and the loveless, but also the happily partnered who increasingly fret over forced conventions.
So, why not mark the day with something totally different?
Instead of a blase box of sweets, take the concept a step further. Chocolate hair conditioner, anyone? Actually, it's walnut- and cocoa-infused, from DevaBrown. And for a practical gift that won't get you the cold shoulder, there's MyGiftee.com's pink electric toaster with squiggly, scribbled hearts.
Thinking of popping the question tonight? Diamond in the Rough specializes in one-of-a-kind uncut diamond engagement and cocktail rings. They've got just enough of that thing the French call jolie-laid -- "beautiful-ugly" -- to get even a skeptic's "yes" vote.
If Fido's your special someone, Trixie and Peanut's enamel ID tags with sparkly hearts will have you loving the look of your precious pooch.
And if your special gal is more Goth than Gisele Bundchen, go for a cotton T-shirt-and-thong combo with an Edgar Allan Poe-esque raven emblem. Now pretend to be Tom Brady and call it a night.
-- Jill Hudson Neal