Bottom Feeders

Several House Republicans on the panel, such as Rep. Virginia Foxx (R-N.C.), didn't appear to think Roger Clemens was a bum. (By Nikki Kahn -- The Washington Post)
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Democrats lined up the substantial evidence, scientific and circumstantial, implicating Clemens. "How can this all be wrong?" demanded Lynch -- prompting Davis to accuse Lynch of "a new definition of lynching." Rep. Elijah Cummings (D-Md.) said the facts "swing the balance over to Mr. McNamee" and told Clemens that "it's hard to believe you."

Clemens, in a rose-colored tie, licked his lips frequently, scratched his nose, drummed the table and gave other signs that he did not enjoy his surroundings. His lawyer evidently thought his client was performing poorly, for he bolted from his seat in the audience to defend Clemens, in violation of committee rules.

McNamee, who freely admitted lying to investigators, came in for even worse from the Republican side. "Disgusting," judged Burton. Rep. Chris Shays (Conn.) called him a drug dealer. Rep. Darryl Issa (Calif.) sputtered at McNamee: "Shame on you."

But "shame" was a dangerous word for lawmakers to be throwing around yesterday. Waxman, the chairman, elicited chuckles at the press table when he asserted at the start that "we have no interest in making baseball a central part of our committee's agenda." Davis, the ranking Republican, acknowledged that they risked "criticism that we're grandstanding."

Now, where would somebody get that idea? Maybe from Eleanor Holmes Norton (D-D.C.), who powdered her face, applied her lipstick, then asked the pitching great: "Mr. McNamee injected your wife with HGH in your master bedroom without your knowledge?"

If that sounded wide of the strike zone, consider the important public benefit of the panel's discussion of a barbecue at Jose Canseco's house ("the night before the barbecue, the Blue Jays lost 4 to 3 in 17 innings"), Clemens's tee times ("your golf receipt that day is time-stamped 8:58") and the description of the Clemens children's nanny ("She was wearing a peach bikini").

The game had obviously gone into extra innings, and by the end Davis acknowledged that the Mitchell report "remains largely intact." For both witnesses and questioners, however, it would be hard to put this one in the win column. The Rocket headed for the Republican dugout, where Davis shook his hand. Thankfully, he did not pat Clemens on the buttocks.