The Empire Strikes Back

Last month at the UCLA-Oregon men's basketball game, UCLA freshman Kevin Love -- an Oregon native -- was greeted with ugly, obscene chants and signs because he had left his home state to play elsewhere. This month at the Indiana-Illinois game, freshman Eric Gordon -- who first pledged to Illinois before signing with Indiana -- needed a security guard for himself and his family as hateful Illini fans heaped abuse on them all night.

Also this month came national signing day, in which high school football players announce their college choices on national TV in front of fawning admirers. One Nevada senior held a typical news conference at his packed high school gymnasium to declare he had selected California over several schools; alas, it was a hoax since he had not been recruited by anyone -- he just wanted to pretend he had.

Welcome to the decline and fall of the Roman empire, U.S. edition.

Remember the great Roman empire?

Its decline was caused not just by greed, lust and indifference to civic virtues. Its decline -- and you could look this up, except you won't find it anywhere -- was caused by an unhealthy preoccupation with sports. The Romans became so lazy and soft and wealthy, their way of life crumbled as they filled local arenas for chariot races, gladiator fights and the occasional Christian fed to the lions.

Sound familiar?

Their empire and our empire have scary similarities. In ancient Rome, public executions were held at midday; in modern America, we have "The Jerry Springer Show."

You think the emperor Romulus Augustulus was worried about crumbling roads and growing crime? No. He was sitting on his fat butt in the public baths, waiting to get the latest ball scores from Bithynia.

They lost their eye on the prize -- to wit, to maintain a civilized, cultured society with a sense of perspective -- and gathered every Sunday to watch blood-letting spectacles. Charioteers were role models. Athletics was paramount.

Back then, they didn't have sports radio and the Internet, they simply scratched messages into the dirt with a stick.

"Beat Athens!"

"The Only Good Gladiator Is A Dead Gladiator."