Michelle Singletary
Thursday, February 21, 2008; 8:00 AM

Recently, I wrote a column on a report by the The National Consumers League warning people about sweetheart scams, "Online, Dear Valentines, The Wolves Talk of Love" (Feb. 14).

In 2007, lovesick victims lost on average $3,000 , according to complaints logged at the center's Web site.

The warning from the League made me wonder about people who weren't scammed, but whose money and love were swept away by some gold digger or gigolo.

If your honey ran away with your money, tell your story and perhaps some others might avoid breaking their bank in the quest for love. Send your tales to: colorofmoney@washpost.com. In the subject line, please put "Sweetheart Swindle."

Where's the Compassion?

As I continue to write about the mortgage mess, I'm struck by the lack of compassion many people have for the folks facing foreclosure or who have already lost their homes.

In a recent column, "King's Dream Deferred, One More Victim of the Subprime Mortgage Crisis" (Feb. 10), I discussed a report that concluded, "subprime borrowers of color will lose between $164 billion and $213 billion for loans taken in the past eight years."

Here's what some people had to say about the report by United for a Fair Economy:

"Many of the folks in this subprime mess chose not to control themselves even with reliable information right in front of them. The backbone of not being taken advantage of by predatory lenders - or any predator for that matter - includes knowledge/education and controlling greed or lust for things that go down in value," wrote Stephanie Whitney of Los Angeles County, Calif.

"I generally like your columns, but this one is racist and blames mainstream America for the woes of blacks," wrote Patrick Murphy of Midlothian, Va. "No doubt the largest socioeconomic group affected by subprime lending are blacks. But you fail to give examples of any trickery, deceit and 'guns held to the heads' of the borrowers. Which part of their walking into a mortgage office is someone else's fault? Signing papers to get an 'innovative' loan which enables them to buy a house?"

"Actually the lenders and those who bought the securitized mortgages have lost the billions, [homeowners] lost only what they didn't have," said Gordon White of Deltaville, Va. "But the subprime homebuyers who have been foreclosed on, in most cases, couldn't afford the home in the first place. They didn't make much, if any, downpayment, so what have they lost? Come on, they probably paid what amounted to rent on those homes. Granted, they are unhappy, but if they could have afforded the homes most would still be in them."

Others agreed with White, arguing that if people didn't put any money down on their homes then any equity built up or which disappeared because of current market conditions wasn't theirs to cry over when lost. But wouldn't that be true for all homeowners whose equity surpasses any downpayment or payments they've made? Absent any appraisal fraud, subprime borrowers have as much right to mourn the loss of any equity as any other homeowners.

There were some who empathized with victims caught in the subprime crisis:

"What has happened to folks, particularly minorities, with this subprime crisis, is morally reprehensible," wrote Margaret Murphy of Cape Cod. "I can understand how people could have been talked into deals that eventually proved totally unrealistic."

"In our highly technical society, we do rely on what the salesperson says, from buying a TV to a washing machine," wrote Clare I. McGuinness of Cleveland. "Why then wouldn't an ordinary person buying a house believe and trust the expert who's helping him/her through the complexities of [the process]?"

Casting Call For "Singletary Says"

I'm still looking for guests for a mortgage special for my TV One show, "Singletary Says." If you or your family fit one of the profiles listed below and live in the Washington Metro area, send an email to colorofmoney@washpost.com. In the subject line, put "TV One Guest."

In search of:

* An individual or couple whose loan has been reset to an interest rate that you can no longer pay.

* An individual or couple who is facing foreclosure and needs advice on how to weather the storm.

* An individual or family who has been through a housing crisis, such as a foreclosure, and has come out on the other side.

Financial Bootcamp

This past Sunday, I enlisted three couples to participate in my Color of Money Military Challenge. Throughout the year, I'll help them through their fiscal pitfalls. I've started by creating an outline for how to achieve their financial New Year's resolutions. All of the couples are in debt and were in need of a plan. Take a look at each of their profiles:

* The Bathiches have only $1,500 in emergency savings and owe about $27,600 on six credit cards. With a second baby on the way, they need help paying down debt and building up emergency savings.

* In the six months they've been married, the Colons have acquired a lot of consumer debt. Their goals include building up retirement savings and paying for a honeymoon.

* One mortgage helped pile on the debt for the Holmes, who weren't able to lease their rental property for enough to cover the mortgage. I'll help them transition from spending more than they bring in to saving.

Follow the series as I help them reach financial success. Keep an eye out for updates on June 8, September 28 and December 14.

After reading about the challengers, some of you wrote me sharing your thoughts about their situations:

Lt. Col. Nathan Johnson wrote: "It helps others to see that similar people are having problems. Have you also thought about profiling military personnel who are ultra successful in their finances? I saw in Money magazine in the past couple of months a military couple, both enlisted, who saved while on active duty so that they are not working now in their early 40s."

"I just wanted to thank you for what you are doing for these personnel," wrote Erica L. White. "As a platoon sergeant in the Army, I have had many soldiers struggle with financial difficulties. Enlisted personnel receive very little financial guidance during the course of their careers, unless they encounter issues. My hope is that many military personnel read this article and benefit from your advice."

Having personal finance trouble of your own? The Post's Sunday Business section launched several new features this week, including "Ask The Experts." Every week, the Post will pose a question to several financial experts. This past Sunday's question was: How should I position my portfolio given the volatility in the market and the slowdown in the economy? Read the responses.

For more on economics, see the "Market Buzz" column by Steven E. Levingston, Sunday Business editor.

Foregoing Excess

Earlier this month, I wrote a column on embracing frugality, "Slaying the 'Enoughasaurus' And Embracing Frugality" (Feb. 3).

One reader found a way to save, although she doesn't recommend her method, her personal revelation is worth noting.

Julie Williams in Bethlehem, Pa., wrote: On December 28, I broke my right ankle. Since then, I have not been able to drive. My husband has been food shopping and taking care of necessary errands. This means we have been on an unexpected 'fiscal fast.' All of a sudden, we have a lot more money in our bank account! I have had to face the fact that I am personally responsible for nearly all of the discretionary spending in our family (my husband and myself, plus two teenage girls). I'm on the verge of recovery, and almost dreading the ability to get out and - spend money? I am looking closely at what I was buying, and obviously will make some big changes. I don't recommend injury or illness as a way to save money, but it can be effective!"

Cringing from Easy Credit

Sometimes it helps to read something you already know just to keep you on track. So if you're in debt you should read "From Foreclosure Signs to Auto Repo Lots" (Feb. 18), by Post reporters David Cho and Nancy Trejos. The two report on the growing burden of debt so many people have taken on.

As they report, some auto loan borrowers are having an extremely hard time making their payments. And more people are turning to credit to pay regular expenses like utility bills and groceries.

"Consumers borrow more money today than at any point in history...Consumer debt reached an all-time high of $2.55 trillion in December, nearly double from a decade ago, according to the Federal Reserve. Some economists say Americans are simply paying the price of their addiction to debt and are now more vulnerable than ever to credit downturns," wrote Cho and Trejos.

For homeowners facing foreclosure, more help is on the way reports Dina Elboghady in "Mortgage Plan Seeks To Stem Foreclosures" (Feb. 21).

The Office of Thrift Supervision is planning to help distressed owners who owe more than their home's worth. The goals are to keep people from just abandoning their property and contain the effect of the mortgage markets on the economy as a whole.

To read about this help, click here.

Tax Tips 2008

If you're still working on your taxes, check out "Tax Breaks for Buying a Home" (Feb. 17) by Jessica Anderson. These tips are part of a new feature, "Tax Planning for Life's Major Events" (Feb. 16), provided by Kiplinger.com.

Also, read my column today, as I clear up some of the confusion about the tax rebate. If you're wondering whether you're eligible, Kiplinger has a calculator you can use to figure it out. And don't forget what I told you last month: "A Tax Rebate? Feed Piggy" (Jan. 31).

You are welcome to e-mail comments and questions to colorofmoney@washpost.com. Please include your name and hometown; your comments may be used in a future column or newsletter unless otherwise requested.