Tom Ricks's Inbox

"No sir not at all. . . . Okay let's see, damage caused by, hmmm . . . what should I put here . . . "

I offer my assistance. "Enemy fire, maybe?"

"Ohh, that works. Okay, enemy fire. And party responsible . . . hmmm . . . Did you manage to get the name of the person that fired the rocket at your tank?"

Times like these really try my better nature. As much as I wanted to say something witty like, "Why yes I did, his name was Bob. Bob the Insurgent. Not to be confused with Bob the Bombmaker or Bob the Beheader. Just Bob the Insurgent." Like I'm going to stop my tank, get out of my 68-ton rolling sanctuary, walk over . . . then say, "Excuse me good sir, but that rocket you fired damaged my digital camera, which I must assume you had no intention of doing. Would you mind giving me your insurance information so that I may promptly file a claim?" ("Why yes mistah! My name is Akhmed Abdullah Durka Akbar, and I live at 1352 Dumb [Expletive] Road!")

"Uh . . . no ma'am, we weren't able to catch the name of the guy who shot it at us, but he's no longer among us."

"Oh . . . "

Wait for it . . . wait for it . . .

" . . . Oh!"

"Yes, that's right. He shot an RPG at me and broke my camera, so I killed him. . . . Unfortunately I don't have a name that I can give you."

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Paul Berry, a spokesman at USAA, a military insurance company, told me he had checked with his property claims managers, and none of them remembered such a call. At any rate, he added, the company gets claims from soldiers in Afghanistan and Iraq all the time, so its employees would be likely to find such a call much more routine than the writer here thinks.

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Tom Ricks is The Post's military correspondent. This feature aims to give readers a snapshot of the conversations about Iraq, Afghanistan and other matters that play out in Ricks's e-mail inbox. Have an interesting document? Send it to TheInbox@washpost.com.