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Dating 101
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To get in the mood, we spent a couple of weeks sifting through the collective wisdom of Washington's dating coaches, relationship counselors and Web sites. And we tried to extract the least-ridiculous advice the self-help industrial complex had to offer.
We sought answers to this question only: How do you get a date in Washington?
First we should say what every expert, every Web site and every book said first: No one wants to date a self-loathing grump. So, take a commercial break, give yourself a hug, tell your inner cynic to wipe that smirk off his face and then return to our regularly scheduled programming.
Great. Now onto the dating game . . .
Non-Self-Help
Ask and you shall receive.
That's not a promise, but it might be a start.
Especially if what you're asking for is help. Help meeting people, arranging dates, improving your chances.
Think of it as a good deed: How many would-be yentas are just waiting to be asked if they can help do a little matchmaking?
"We live in a society where people are more and more entrenched in themselves and are scared to ask for help," says local relationship therapist Audrey Chapman. Even if you're not asking to be set up, Chapman suggests checking in with close friends for a little dose of honesty. "Every once in a while you can ask a friend, 'How do you think I'm doing? Are there things you think I should be taking more care of, to change or work on?' Getting feedback is so important," she says.
That might mean working first on your platonic friendships: being proactive about spending time with the folks who will keep you laughing, drag you to new places and maybe help explain the opposite sex. (And remember the buddy system: Everything in life is easier when done in the company of a good friend. Dating included.)
But if you prefer help that's a little further removed from your inner circle, there are plenty of folks to whom you can outsource the task. Your best friend might not tell you it's time to buy jeans from this decade, but your dating coach, matchmaker or image consultant surely will.
