By Amy Argetsinger and Roxanne Roberts
Wednesday, March 12, 2008

The governor of New York allegedly paid $4,300 for an N.Y.C. call girl who traveled to D.C. Could he have saved by hiring locally?

Hard numbers are tricky: The D.C. Madam charged $250-$300 for fantasy dates; a scan of Washington's Craigslist for "erotic services" finds a "sexy kitty" available for $250, a "busty brunette" for $180 an hour. That's much more than streetwalkers (who averaged $27 per hour in a Chicago economic survey) but way less than high-end escorts; former N.Y.C. prostitute-turned-novelist Tracy Quan claims she made $400 per hour. Escort fees fall under the economic theory of "Veblen goods" -- the higher the price, the more desirable a commodity.

How did Eliot Spitzer look at the Gridiron Club dinner on Saturday night?

"Absolutely stricken," according to a guest who sat near him but didn't approach because of the alarming look on his face: "Like he lost a family member." (The New York Times reports that feds told the governor of their investigation on Friday.) Other witnesses, however, say he was "ebullient" and busily glad-handing as usual. Spitzer was the guest of the Buffalo News's Doug Turner.

Who had the best headline?

N.Y.C. tabs always excel here; arguably the New York Post's "Ho No!" bested the Daily News's "Pay for Luv Gov." Comedy Central's "Colbert Report" riffed "Eliot Mess," which has a subtle elegance that works on a couple of levels.

Doesn't the Mayflower bar always mix a gimmicky cocktail inspired by current events?

Yeah, but not this time. Now that they have a sex scandal under their own roof, hotel reps aren't talking, so look elsewhere for "Love Potion No. 9" or "the 871-tini."

Does Spitzer have a double row of eyelashes, like Liz Taylor?

We don't really think this is the time to call and ask.

Isn't there a great old joke about the Mann Act of 1910 (which Spitzer may have violated if he transported a hooker across state lines)?

So there was this zookeeper who was caring for these ancient dolphins. The secret to their long life, it seemed, was that they would only eat a certain kind of sea bird. So every month, the zookeeper had to drive to a state park filled with all kinds of exotic animals where he'd pick up the food. One night he was driving back late and ran over a big cat. He was arrested for violating the Mann Act: transporting gulls across state lions for immortal porpoises.

Dawn Wells, the lovely Mary Ann from "Gilligan's Island," is serving six months' probation after allegedly being caught by cops in Idaho with marijuana in her car and failing a sobriety test. Wells, 69, was driving back from a surprise birthday party in her honor. A lawyer for Wells told reporters that a friend testified that he left the half-smoked joints in her car without her knowledge. Hmmm . . . we might have expected this from Ginger.

Kennedy Center Chairman Stephen Schwarzman is donating $100 million . . . to the New York Public Library. The announcement yesterday kicks off a $1 billion expansion of the famous Fifth Avenue building guarded by lions; the library will be renamed after Schwarzman when construction is completed in six years.

Seller: Gary Forsee

New asking price: $2.9 million

Details: Such a bargain! The former Sprint Nextel CEO put his four-bedroom, four-bath Georgetown rowhouse on the market in October for $3.45 million, shortly after his board ousted him over the company's stock slide, and now the house's price is sliding too. Which means Forsee, who bought the turn-of-the-century home in fall '06 for $3 million, stands to lose money -- but with a reported $54 million severance and a free house coming with his new job as University of Missouri System president, we won't worry too much. His old G'town pad boasts a glass conservatory, two-car garage and garden with patio leading to a carriage house.