Singer Was Bush's Mystery Dinner Host. No, Not That Singer.

The award, a framed photo of the Woods stretch, will be sent to Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson, rounding out a particularly fine week for him.

Anyone Want to Run This Joint?

Federal Emergency Management Agency officials are knocking down a rumor that FEMA Administrator R. David Paulison is leaving in the next couple of weeks. The rumor had simmered among people who had heard him talking privately about his frustrations running the troubled agency.

Then last week he was a no-show for a scheduled speech at the National Emergency Management Association midyear conference here.

A former DHS official says: "Folks have had to talk David out of leaving, including the White House. They've asked him to stick around. He's tired, he's worn out. . . . Every time he thinks they've turned the corner, something else has popped up." The White House "would like him to stay until the bitter end if possible, certainly through hurricane season. . . . But he has been disillusioned."

No? Should We Bring Brown Back?

Speaking of FEMA, its external affairs shop (EA) -- especially the public affairs folks -- has gotten a bit of bad press. Morale has plummeted; the team is on a losing streak.

But not to worry! The EA Morale and Teambuilding Group is determined to turn this around and wants to know what its colleagues think. So it has sent around a survey. Please, get your answers in as fast as you can.

Most questions aren't difficult. For example: "Are you familiar with the goals and priorities of FEMA?" Just answer yes or no. "Do you know what the goal of EA is?" A good question.

Another question tests your "level of morale," ranking it from 1 ("I don't believe in the goal of EA nor do I believe in the people I work with") to 5 ("I believe strongly in the goal of EA and have full confidence in the people I work with"). The survey wants to know how people feel about agency resources, training opportunities, rewards and what "activities outside the workplace" you'd like to take part in "with . . . co-workers."

Listed suggestions include a birthday club, bowling, miniature golf, "Brown Back Lunch" and, our personal favorite, "Happy Hour."

Finally, "what do you think is the most important step FEMA EA can take to improve morale?"

Clean up New Orleans? Hold retreats in formaldehyde-laden trailers? Stop conducting surveys?

Smurf City, Here We Come

Seems "smurfing," also known as trying to hide misdeeds by keeping bank transactions below the $10,000 reporting threshold, is the latest craze among government officials.

Last week there was former New York governor Eliot Spitzer, allegedly smurfing to hide his payments for a high-priced hooker.

Three weeks ago, Richard T. Race, who had been chief of staff to Pentagon Inspector General Claude M. Kicklighter and before that deputy inspector general for investigations, copped a plea in federal court in Alexandria to doing the same thing -- "structuring cash transactions to evade reporting requirements."

The case involved $20,000 he'd received for selling a car. Race cleverly deposited $9,000 in cash on a Wednesday, $9,000 the next day and $2,000 the day after in order to evade the law.

Not so cleverly, he put it all in the same federal credit union account, and worse, told a bank teller that he intended to "avoid generating a report to the government, which he believed could result in a tax being assessed" on the transaction, according to a court document.

Now Race is looking at a max of five years in prison and a fine of $250,000 when he's sentenced May 2. The feds have already grabbed the 20 large.

Maybe that's why there have been so few Defense Department procurement fraud investigations.