Your Big Fat Foolish Wedding

But some traditions, no matter how venerable, should be abandoned if they aren't reasonable. You can and should put a price on this special day. You should have the wedding you can afford.

When I say afford, I mean weigh the wedding expenses against how that money could be better used. Consider whether it's worth spending upward of $30,000 for a wedding in which the majority of the costs goes toward the reception and honeymoon -- a party and vacation.

At least ask yourself if the money you plan on spending for some lavish wedding and honeymoon could be better used to pay down debt, buy a home or invest for retirement.

I've always believed that you start with a budget. Then you plan for the wedding. That's what I did when planning my own wedding almost 17 years ago. If you start with a guest list, the venue or any of the other things you want, you will overspend.

ING Direct, the online banking company, surveyed British couples and found that spiraling costs forced people to postpone their weddings or abandon getting hitched altogether. Fifteen percent of the couples said they didn't think they would ever get married, with the majority claiming this was because of the huge cost involved.

How idiotic that folks who say they've found the love of their life won't commit because they don't have the funds for the celebration. You can get married for what it costs to attend a play.

Trust me, there are people who have found marital bliss by spending less.

"I've already found the friend's back yard to hold the wedding/reception," one person wrote. "The rest of our money will be spent on a mini-weekend away until we can afford the European getaway of 'my' dreams, perhaps as a five-year anniversary gift."

If friends or family complain about a small guest list, simply say, "We would love to have a bigger bash but we just can't." End the discussion there, because it's your life and your money.

Here's what I tell couples fretting over paying for a big wedding. Spend lavishly for your wedding if you like -- with money you have saved, not with any debt -- if you can check off the following:

¿ You have three to six months of living expenses saved up.