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Okay, Barack. Now Show 'Em Your White Side.

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He should be given diction lessons so he stops cutting off his y's (no more "li-ber-teh" and "e-kwa-li-teh"). And for heaven's sake, when he's campaigning this summer, no rallies on the "south side" of any city. (Is there some cute, Anglo-sounding nickname that we can use as short for Barack? I'm open to suggestions. Hey, I've got it -- Barry!)

Okay, I hear you again:

But Bomani, playing into racial stereotypes has to be counterproductive! And having him fake anything takes away from the realness that gives him such broad appeal!

Look, Obama's amazing background and upbringing allow him to play any role in our tragicomedy of black vs. white thoroughly and authentically. After he wins the presidential election, I will personally show up on Pennsylvania Avenue during his inaugural procession, wearing the African flag colors of red, black and green, with the rap group Public Enemy (pre-Flavor Flav's "Flavor of Love"), screaming at the top of my lungs like a teenager running behind Muhammad Ali in Zaire: "Barack, bomaye! Barack, bomaye!"

Until then, I am not taking any more chances acknowledging him as a black man.

info@notarapper.com

Bomani Armah is a Washington poet, hip-hop artist, satirist and educator.

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