CAROLYN HAX

While I'm away, I'm letting you give the advice. The following are readers' opinions on issues they've seen in the column:

¿ On infertility:

Not all of us dealing with infertility are incapable of hearing about, celebrating and enjoying others' pregnancies. I completely understand women who are having difficulty -- but pay attention to the woman before deciding to keep her out of the loop.

I'm tired of having ultrasound pictures hidden from me as I walk into a room. I just learned of a faraway relation's pregnancy three days after the birth of her child because people "couldn't bear" to tell me she was pregnant. What a crock. I love kids. I do not begrudge anyone the joy of having them, anticipating them, celebrating them. People, if you're close enough to know a person is having fertility issues, you're close enough to ask, "Do you want to see/be invited/hear about . . ." in relation to baby stuff. Thank you.

Anywhere

No no, thank you .

¿ On what makes a marriage last:

My wife and I celebrated our 40th anniversary last Sunday. What did we do? Nothing special. We exchanged cards (hers was funny; mine serious). I bought her flowers (she loves fresh cut flowers). We went out to dinner to a restaurant we had not been to in many years. We had a couple of drinks, talked about our children, the changes in the restaurant, the fact that it didn't use tablecloths, etc. We were home about 9 p.m. Watched some TV. Went to bed. It was great! I love being with her.

I've always respected my wife. She is the most intelligent woman I know. She has a sharp mind and grasps concepts almost immediately. She is a professional in a field that I would never enter (education, but she is not a teacher or administrator. My profession involved creative endeavors). But when she discusses her work with me, I am fascinated. Her mind is organized. She has a certain way she tells a story that really makes you want to hear it to the end. She's a problem-solver and will tackle a job immediately while I tend to procrastinate until I am under a tremendous deadline.