ASK AMY

He can pick up on your crush statement, ignore it or save it for 25 years from now, when he will no doubt bring it up at your high school reunion.

After you say what you need to say, focus on your friendship. Opposite-sex friendships are worth their weight in teardrops.

DEAR AMY: I worked with a woman for about two years. We talked about everything. Both of us had spouses who cheated on us. She moved, and I got divorced three years later. She found out and called me up out of the blue. She told me when we started talking that she was getting a divorce, so we started to hang out. We took our kids to the park, had each other over to our houses and, yes, we even made love.

I just found out that she does not plan to get a divorce. She has become my best friend, and I want to be with her all the time.

Now I don't know what to do. My friends want me to move on and see other people, but it's hard to when she is all I think about. She says she loves being with me, but I don't know what to do. -- Depressed Dad

DEAR DEPRESSED: Your girlfriend is a liar and a cheat. Doesn't that make her a little less attractive to you?

You were vulnerable, she knew it, and she is using you. You may be completely besotted with her, but she is not your best friend. Best friends don't manipulate and romantically scam each other. They don't involve children in their entanglements. You need to get angry over this. After you do, I suggest you go "cold turkey;" don't call her, don't take her calls and don't see her.

Dear Amy:

I am responding to the letter from Not Nude, the woman whose guy wanted her to sleep in the nude. So here is a guy who is demanding that his future wife sleep nude even though it makes her uncomfortable, and you suggest trying to work something out? Like what, sleeping half-nude?

The man is trying to relive his life with his deceased wife, and he is telling his intended how she is to dress (or undress, in this case) every night of her life.

I say to that woman: Run for the hills! -- Barbara

DEAR BARBARA: Not Nude said she didn't mind sleeping in the nude but wouldn't do so with kids in the house. I suggested that the couple work out a compromise where everyone might feel comfortable -- not that she simply agree to his "demands."

(Send questions via e-mail to askamy@tribune.com or by mail to Ask Amy, Chicago Tribune, TT500, 435 N. Michigan Ave., Chicago, IL 60611.)

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