Upper-Crass Video: Maybe the Rich Aren't Different

These people do not have lawyers. Sometimes, they do not have teeth.

It seems entirely reasonable for them to rely on Bouncer Steve to mediate disputes.

Walsh-Smith? She is accomplished and intelligent. She does charity work, raising money for wounded Iraq vets and addicts.

In other words, she's doesn't need Bouncer Steve. She's got a publicist. (Calls and e-mails were not returned yesterday. A person who answered the phone at the Shubert Organization said that they would not discuss employees' private lives.) She also has a lawyer, Raoul Felder, the divorce attorney who has sued such famous men as Martin Scorsese and Johnny Carson. He describes his client as "powerless," saying that she was communicating in any way she could.

We expect women such as Walsh-Smith to quietly negotiate a divorce from within a mahogany-paneled law office until the sordid details are leaked the old-fashioned way, on "Access Hollywood."

Not on YouTube.

"Typically, YouTube videos are created by average people, people who never had access to anything," says Alexandra Juhasz, who teaches a course on YouTube at Pitzer College in California.

Juhasz says that Walsh-Smith's video is so squirmy because she's a fish out of water: "It blends the voice of a regular person with these very privileged circumstances. . . . She is a powerful person using the medium in a way more typical of a disenfranchised person."

Midway through the horror, Walsh-Smith decides to ring up her husband and clue him in on her production. He's on another call. His unsuspecting assistant offers to take a message.

"I don't know if you know, but you know Philip and I never had sex," Walsh-Smith says. "But he's got Viagra and condoms and stuff here, and porn movies. Just ask him what he wants me to do with them, would you?"

" Wait wait wait wait wait-- "

"Mmm?"

"You want me to ask him that now?!"

"Yeah."

No! Ack! La la la la la. Can't. Watch. Anymore.