'Forbidden': Just Say No

You know you're in a fantasy movie when the central character has to traverse time in search of the "Monkey King." If only you were in a good movie.

In "The Forbidden Kingdom," Jason Tripitikas (Michael Angarano) is an American teenager in the present day. His friendship with an elderly pawnshop proprietor in Chinatown leads to a journey to ancient China. We won't burden you with the convoluted details, but he finds himself hurtling into the past, dispatched to return a precious wooden staff to the aforementioned simian monarch. And he teams with a scruffy, drunken kung fu master (Jackie Chan) who clearly has seen a few too many Toshiro Mifune movies.

Chan manages to endear himself in the worst of movies, which is precisely what he does here. But why watch? The kung fu includes master fighter Jet Li as a warlord, but it's wan and disappointing, all choreography and no real damage.

The story is even worse, a lazy downloading of elements from "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon" in which people fly with all the grace and credibility of a Photoshop animation quickie. What's the point of pretending characters can defy gravity when it's so clear they don't?

A movie that jumps between two worlds can be a powerful experience, as any fan of "The Wizard of Oz," "Back to the Future" or "The Terminator" can tell you. But this phoned-in epic is simply a celebration of the inauthentic.

-- Desson Thomson

The Forbidden Kingdom PG-13, 113 minutes Contains mild profanity, bodily functions and stylized violence. Area theaters. The Forbidden Kingdom PG-13, 113 minutes Contains mild profanity, bodily functions and stylized violence. Area theaters.