Sorry, Carly. You're No 'Superstar' This Week

Andrew Lloyd Webber week came to a shocking conclusion last night on "American Idol." Carly Smithson, this season's most talented singer vocally, got the hook despite having delivered one of the week's two strongest performances.

The other was by Syesha Mercado, who received the second fewest votes from viewers.

Meanwhile, Nanny Brooke, who once again forgot the lyrics to her song, sailed through to mess up another week. Ditto Jason Castro, who the night before had mauled the tune "Memory" from the musical "Cats" because he did not realize it was about, um, cats.

And speaking of you get what you vote for, look -- here's President Bush, who gets to announce this year's "Idol Gives Back" charity fundraiser total, which was about 11 million bucks less than last year's. Yes, show host Ryan Seacrest is so powerful that when he doesn't want to be the one to break the bad news to America, they get the president of the United States to step in and do the dirty work for him.

Seacrest does agree to be the one to break it to America that 38 million votes were cast this week for the Idolettes. We try unsuccessfully to resist the urge to consider that if every vote cast had been accompanied by $2, they would have raised $76 million and matched last year's "Idol Gives Back" haul. And while we're on the subject, what's the good of having that gas bandit ExxonMobil be one of this year's "Idol Gives Back" mondo-sponsors if it's not going to make up the $11 million difference? What's a measly $11 million to a company that in 2007 posted a $40.6 billion annual profit -- the largest ever by a U.S. company.

Andrew Lloyd Webber Week Results Night was shocking from beginning to end. For starters, Seacrest kisses judge Simon Cowell.

"Relax -- it didn't mean anything!" Seacrest tells Simon, who reacts by immediately sidling over and putting his arm around judge Paula Abdul. Paula is observing Andrew Lloyd Webber week by dressing up as the Merry Widow under the mistaken belief Lloyd Webber wrote that one, too.

It was pretty much downhill from there. Everyone but Carly and Syesha make it through to the Sofa of Safety. But they'll have to sing Neil Diamond tunes next week -- that'll show them.

Leona Lewis, Simon's "discovery" on the British version of "Idol," sings her pop tune in some hideous sundress. We get an exclusive sneak peek at Will Smith's new flick, in which he plays a superhero.

In honor of Lloyd Webber week, we see how successful people who did not win "American Idol" have been on Broadway. Like Tamyra Gray and Clay Aiken, in "Rent" and "Spamalot," respectively.

Carly is announced as this week's bootee. The audience has the good sense to boo. Simon, who has been trying to get Carly booted since she made it through to the finals, apologizes to her for having complimented her on this week's performance, calling his comment "the kiss of death."

We, however, believe he did it on purpose.