Three Wise Guys: Speed Enforced by Aircraft, Hairy Comebacks and Who Are the Wise Guys, Anyway?
Sunday, April 27, 2008
Dear Wise Guys:
While driving on Interstates 66 and 81 last weekend, I saw multiple "Speed Enforced by Aircraft" signs. Is automobile speed ever really enforced by aircraft? I've never known of anyone pulled over by the police Cessna.
Joe: They don't pull vehicles over; they strafe them. That's why you see so many cars littering the highway.
Justin: Once again, Joe is a victim of his vivid imagination and complete ignorance of the facts. Let me clear this up. Last year the Virginia State Police launched 302 aerial speed enforcement operations.
"It's very effective as a deterrent," explains state police spokeswoman Corinne Geller. "And it's very good if you have stretches of interstate where you have problems with really aggressive, reckless drivers."
Here's how each operation works: A trooper in a fixed-wing Cessna observes vehicles passing between white lines painted on the highway. When he picks out a traffic offender, he determines the violator's speed and then radios a trooper on the ground to handle the pull-over.
But please, everyone, keep your eyes on the road. There are enough scary drivers in this area without a bunch of you trying to spot the flying police through your sunroofs.
Dear Wise Guys:
Recently a "funny" thing happened to me at my gym. In the locker room as I came back from the shower, I saw a young guy no more than 25 to 30 years old. As I patted myself dry, the guy was doing the same. Suddenly he said, "Wow, you are hairy." And I replied immediately, "Wow, and you are hairless."
I have always been rather hirsute, but frankly it never dawned on me it could matter to another guy. How should I handle another dumb exclamation like that? I know that body hair acts as a shield or protection by absorbing perspiration and other secretions.