She's Gone . . . They Said

Nanny Brooke, frequent forgetter of lyrics, finally got her walking papers on "American Idol" last night.

Ironically, she'd remembered all the words to her two Neil Diamond tunes this week, even the bit about no one hearing at all, not even the chair, in her second tune, "I Am . . . I Said." She did write one of the tougher lines on the palm of her hand -- about how the palm trees grow and the rents are low. Except she must have forgotten she was going to be playing the piano, which would've made it a bit tough to look at the lyrics on her hand.

But that's all moot now. Because Nanny Brooke is gone, leaving David Archuleta, Jason Castro, David Cook and Syesha Mercado, after one of the show's more exciting results nights.

How exciting?

Well, the Phone Company Sponsors Actual Phone Calls segment coughed up something non-gag-inducing: Tara Miller, age 46, from Petaluma, Calif., called in to ask Simon Cowell whether his kiss with fellow judge Paula Abdul (way back several seasons ago) was better or worse than his kiss with Tara Miller in his garden when he was 9 years old.

"Do you still look cute?" Simon asks before committing.

She cleverly responds she thinks he has aged well, and she thinks she has, too. Tara is apparently of the flattery-gets-you-everywhere-with-men school.

Simon explains to viewers at home Tara was "literally my first kiss, my first crush."

Show host Ryan Seacrest jumps in: "To all the kids watching: 9 years old is too young to kiss, you need to wait a bit."

Sadly, Simon never does reveal who was the better kisser. We think he doesn't want to embarrass Paula at the end of what's been a tough week for our Queen of Crazy.

Much earlier in the show, Seacrest addressed the rumors swirling around Paula in re her having critiqued Idolette Jason's two Diamond tunes after he'd sung only the first one.

"Last night the judges were thrown a curve ball. . . . It sparked a lot of gossip about Paula," Seacrest said. Paula, dressed as Patty Duke, sat in her chair looking stricken. Like if Patty had just discovered her boyfriend Richard was going to the prom with her identical cousin Cathy.