She's Gone . . . They Said

"The rumors are not true," Seacrest said.

What rumors? More on that later.

"She is part of our family and we love her."

Simon kissed Paula. Judge Randy Jackson kissed Paula. And they all live happily ever after.

Except, of course, Nanny Brooke, who weeps buckets when she hears her name called as this week's bootee and who, in a perfect ending to her long and improbable journey on "Idol," botches the lyrics during her swan-song repeat performance of "I Am . . . I Said."

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Earlier in the day, after her breathtaking performance on Tuesday night's "American Idol," Paula explained how she was able to critique both of Jason's chosen Neil Diamond tunes after he'd sung only one of them. And then, she explained it again. Surprisingly, neither explanation involves (a) being drunk or (b) being given scripted comments in advance. Those were the two explanations most favored by The Reporters Who Cover Television in the aftermath of Paula Abdul's Best Meltdown Ever, with a slight edge being given to the "drunk psychic" theory.

In Paula World, however, what happened was she saw Jason sing his second Diamond tune during dress rehearsal and got confused. Or she mistook her positive notes on David Cook for negative notes on Jason's second performance Tuesday night. It could happen to anyone.

Each of the remaining five Idolettes got to sing two songs this week -- because you just can't get enough of Neil Diamond's cheesetastic tunes. To be fair to Paula, the producers had made a first-ever format change in the show, telling the judges they would not get to comment until after each Idolette had sung both of his or her songs. This meant all the judges, including Paula, would have to do something they had never done before: take notes.

Then, unexpectedly, after each Idolette had sung just one song -- follow me closely here -- show host Ryan Seacrest goes and changes the game plan again, bringing all five Idolettes back onstage and telling the judges he wants quick rundowns on each performance.

"Oh gosh, we've never had to write these things down fast enough," Paula begins when it's her turn. "Jason, your first song, I loved hearing your lower register, which we never really hear. The second song, I felt like your usual charm was missing for me, it kind of left me a little empty. The two songs felt for me like you're not fighting hard enough to get into the top four."