The Idolettes Rock On and Roll With the Punches

David Cook, this year's token rocker on "American Idol," was ignominiously upstaged in the rock-and-roll round last night by the millennials' David Cassidy clone, David Archuleta.

How'd that happen?

First, David C. starts things off with "Hungry Like a Wolf" by Duran Duran, a song he says he picked because it came out the year he was born. Already he's in trouble. Judge Randy Jackson thinks it's a'ight while judge Paula Abdul begins to ramble about his hunger being her big appetite, which raises the "American Idol" Decency Police Alert Level to Orange. Judge Simon Cowell calls David C.'s version -- which he'd promised he'd twist up to make his own -- a "little bit copycat." That's like calling Paula a little bit crazy.

Syesha Mercado sings "Proud Mary," though it's a trademark Tina Turner tune and has been covered by about 100 others, after talking to herself in the mirror about having fun with it. She then proceeds to try to do Beyoncé doing Tina Turner doing "Proud Mary." We've seen Beyoncé doing Tina Turner doing "Proud Mary" at the Kennedy Center, Syesha, and you are no Beyoncé doing Tina Turner doing "Proud Mary."

Randy says Syesha is "in the zone." Paula begins to babble that facing the fear is when magic happens. Simon, the only judge worth listening to, calls it a "bad impersonation of Tina Turner."

Jason Castro picks Bob Marley's "I Shot the Sheriff" because it's one of only a few songs he knows from among the hundreds on the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame's list. It's so bad even his family in the audience looks bewildered. Randy calls it pure karaoke Bob. Paula says he's so real and genuine his artistry shines through. Simon calls it "American Idol" Bad Auditions Episodes bad.

David "Baby Elmo" Archuleta, meanwhile, picks "Stand by Me" because, he says, he's only sung it to himself and his dog, to date. Randaula loves it; Simon, still grousing over Jason's performance, says Baby Elmo could have just whistled the tune and sounded better than Jason but that instead he delivered the night's best performance so far.

In Round 2, David C. sings "Baba O'Riley" by the Who and is much better this time, but no Baby Elmo. Randmon says this is the David C. they love. Paula starts screaming "I just want more!" while the "American Idol" Decency Police ready their hypodermic needles.

Syesha Mercado says she chose "A Change Is Gonna Come" for her second song because it was about the civil rights movement but, for her, is now about her journey on "Idol." She's dreadful in parts. Randy does not love it. Paula gives her a standing ovation. "Welcome to your dream!" she says, causing Syesha to start bawling. Simon, mysteriously, agrees with Paula.

Jason's back, threatening us with "another Bob." But, mercifully, he does not mean another Marley tune, he means Bob Dylan's "Mr. Tambourine Man." He forgets a goodish chunk of the lyrics but plows ahead. Randy says he's not in the zone, Paula tells Jason he did not blow us away but he blew her away. The "AI" Decency Police get out their butterfly net.

"I'd pack your suitcase," Simon advises Jason.

And, finally, Baby Elmo pulls out all the stops and sings "Love Me Tender" -- his very first love song -- to the Mosh Pit Sorority Sisters while the "American Idol" Camera locks in on his face close up and hangs on for dear life. Randy praises him for caressing every word. Paula says she felt his heart.

"You didn't beat the competition -- you crushed the competition," Simon raves.