A Foster Child Comes of Age

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Moving On, Moving Out

On her 21st birthday, Marie Willis not only celebrated another year but marked her transition out of Virginia's foster care system.

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When Willis started college in 2005, the two, along with her foster parents, decided that she would finish her five-year degree program in three years so that when it was time for her to leave the Virginia foster-care system at age 21, she would be well on her way to a career. She doubled up on course work. She went to summer school each year. She studied between jobs and on lunch breaks, getting by on a few hours of sleep each night.

There were setbacks. For nearly two years, Willis shared a tidy two-bedroom apartment in Norfolk with a close friend for $450 a month. But in February, a disagreement between the two led Willis to move out.

Willis moved in with her foster sister and her family, paying $350 in rent, plus utilities, until yesterday, when she moved into a Virginia Beach apartment with two roommates. Rent will be $400, plus utilities. With her car payment, insurance and food, there isn't much left to save from a job that brings in $650 a month. She acknowledged that she'll be "piecing it together."

One Friday morning, Bonner and Willis mulled her options. They discussed budgeting. Willis would save her last foster-care boarding check to add to the savings account she had opened last year. But Bonner was disappointed. They had agreed that Willis would have saved at least $1,000 by the time she turned 21. Ten days before discharge, the account had $300.

"My attempts at budgeting didn't really work all that well, but there were a whole bunch of things that came up," Willis said, including repairs to her seven-year-old black Mazda 626.

Bonner looked at her skeptically. "No frivolous spending?"

"Well, maybe a little bit," Willis said. There was the occasional dinner and movie, and clothes for job interviews.

They decided that Willis would no longer press to finish school early. The $5,000 annual education credit she receives from the state until she turns 23 would give her extra financial assistance. She would apply for Medicaid because her health-care coverage would end after discharge. And she would continue looking for a second job.

Willis lost touch with her younger sister, who was adopted and is living in Florida. She and Cassandra, who is married and lives in West Virginia, rarely talk, but they see each other on major holidays.

The emotional ups and downs worried Bonner as they discussed the future and Willis's ability to develop healthy adult relationships. Willis has been in therapy since November. She said the weekly sessions have helped her deal with her fear of emotional commitment and the reality that she will be handling adult responsibilities on her own.

"I guess that's what I'm scared of most . . . being able to form lasting friendships, relationships and opening up. Getting married," Willis said, taking off her glasses to wipe away tears. "Even after all this time, it's hard when you've been through people in and out of your life. You never know who to trust, who's going to leave next."

Almost Ready to Leave the Nest

In March, Willis sat in the comfort of her foster parents' home. She was there for a Caplinger family tradition: a home-cooked birthday dinner of eggplant parmesan and spinach. The talk was of the adult problems that would soon confront Willis, including whether she should confront the unknown parts of her past.