A Foster Child Comes of Age

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Moving On, Moving Out

On her 21st birthday, Marie Willis not only celebrated another year but marked her transition out of Virginia's foster care system.

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"Of course I worry about Marie and how she'll make it, but I worried about all my children," Shirley Caplinger said. "She has problems budgeting, yes. I'm not sure how honest she is with herself with that. And I guess I wonder sometimes if she understands."

This tough love, Willis said, helped her feel a part of the Caplinger family, making the adjustment to foster care easier. She and the Caplingers' other foster children went on vacations with the family (Disney World, camping, visits to relatives), celebrated holidays and did all the things families do together.

Willis said she hopes the relationship she has developed with the family will provide her with support as she moves into the next phase of her life. But there are still uncomfortable decisions she'll have to make on her own: Should she look for some members of her birth family? Should she look through the volumes of case files to learn more about her past?

"Part of me doesn't want to know. . . . Part of me wants to move on," she said. "I've had a good family life here. Sometimes, I want to let the past be the past."

Discharge day, March 19, was sunny and warm, but Willis was in a bad mood.

There was a celebration ahead, though. Her girlfriends were taking her out for a birthday dinner in Norfolk. As she sat at the dining room table, her phone kept flashing text messages with birthday wishes.

She tried not to think about all she had to do in the next few days.

"It's not just another day. I know that," she said. "I just want to celebrate it as my birthday and not think about it as anything more than that, you know?"