Hang Tight -- It Can't Be This Bad Forever

In general, prenuptial agreements come into play when one person has a lot more assets (money, stocks, real estate, jewelry, etc.) than the person he or she is marrying. You have to decide first if you want to sign an agreement that will decide now how to divide all of the assets you accumulate together after your marriage.

I'm not opposed to prenups, and in fact I think they can be very helpful, particularly in the case of a marriage in which each person has children. I think you should consult with a lawyer who can advise you on whether the agreement protects you as well as your boyfriend.

Whether or not you eventually marry, you should be cautious about buying property as an unmarried partner unless you have created a legal partnership that governs the financial aspects of the purchase.

This partnership agreement will describe what each of you is bringing to the table and lay out the financial workings of the relationship, including what expenses each of you are responsible for and what share of the equity each of you will be entitled to in case the partnership doesn't work out. A real estate or family planning lawyer can draft a partnership agreement for you.

If you and your boyfriend do decide to get married, your partnership agreement can contain a clause that specifies what will happen to the property and your financial relationship.

Because you live in California, you may have some extra protections if you and your boyfriend live together for a certain number of years.

We have lived in New Jersey for five years and have been waiting for an opportunity to go back to Florida. My husband recently was offered a job in Florida that will pay $30,000 less than he makes now. He will start his new job in mid-May, and I will follow when our children get out of school. We signed a rental agreement for a home in Florida, but we can't buy at this time.

Our house in New Jersey is about two years old. Houses like ours in our development are selling for $60,000 less than we paid. We could do a short sale, but our credit score is close to 800 and we hope not to ruin it. Another option we explored was filing for bankruptcy protection. We met with a bankruptcy lawyer, and now I feel like that may be our only option. We have two loans on our home, and our first lender would accept a short sale but the second would not.

We thought about renting out our home, but our mortgage is $3,000 a month, and we can only expect to receive monthly rent of about $1,800. We can't afford three payments per month (our two loans on our house and the rent for the home in Florida).

We have been advised to stop making the mortgage payment. We do not want to do that, but we really want to move to Florida. On the other hand, we want to make the best financial decisions and rebuild our credit as soon as we can.

You have an interesting situation. Unlike many people with mortgage troubles due to job losses, health problems or other financial difficulties, your situation appears to be self-created.

You know your home value has gone down, and you know you will make less money if you move to Florida now, and you know you can't afford to keep your current home and rent a home in Florida. And yet you've gone ahead. He has accepted the job in Florida, and you have signed a lease for a home there.