Learn-a-Palooza: Be Smarter for Free!

We know that Washingtonians can car-share, so why, in this town full of brainiacs, can't we also knowledge-share? Why can't a know-it-all in the field of knitting, pool-sharking or Farsi teach a class, impart some knowledge and make the world a smidge smarter?

Tomorrow, Learn-a-Palooza returns to Adams Morgan and Dupont Circle and other neighborhoods for its second year, with about 60 free workshops on a variety of obscure topics. Teachers are regular people who have hobbies or special areas of expertise they want to share.

It's the leave-the-house equivalent of Sudoku, folks, not Harvard, so have some fun. Best part: You don't even need to RSVP. Just show up. The lowdown on a few of the classes we think look pretty promising:

· How to Get Out of a Speeding Ticket. Who doesn't need this class? (Um, for next year, might we suggest "How to Get Out of Multiple Parking Tickets"?) Led by "recovering attorney" and current branding consultant Joey Coleman (who admits to having been pulled over once or twice), the course doesn't focus on waging a good defense in court so much as how to avoid getting to that point. Sample tip: "Tell the right story -- because depending on the time, humor may work, humor may not work." Telling a cop the wrong one, he says, might just result in even more tickets. 1-2 p.m. Affinity Lab, 2451 18th St. NW. 2nd floor.

· Slackline. Walk on a loose, low-lying tightrope and amaze your friends. Joel Lawrence Steinberg, an elementary school teacher who has been slacklining for a few years, teaches others how to tie nylon webbing between two trees (this one will be no more than one foot off the ground) and then cross said distance. (It uses a ton of muscles, so you'll get a workout in the process.) Steinberg's tip: "Breathe." 5-7 p.m. Southwest corner of Meridian Hill Park, 16th and Chapin streets NW, near the fountain.

· How t o Dance at a Party. This class is perfect for those who want to go to Prince vs. the World but are afraid, you know, to actually dance in front of other people. Taught by dance fiends Melissa Krodman, Meghan Keener and Patrick White (one of the DJs of the growing funk-soul dance party Fatback), this class is about making a spectacle of yourself and having a good time. Participants even get mix CDs to take home and practice. Sample lesson for men who want to get down: "Let loose, and don't let what other dudes do on the dance floor inform your dance style," says Krodman. She adds: "Sometimes it's also sexier to let women have their space. Avoid the 'clutch and thrust.' " 7-8 p.m. Affinity Lab, 2451 18th St. NW.

For a full schedule of Learn-a-Palooza events, http://www.learnapaloozadc.com.

Save the Date

THE SCENE Savor: Craft Beers Meet Their Culinary Matches You've heard of food and wine pairings, certainly. But how about that burgeoning phenomenon of beer pairings? (And no, we don't mean the way pretzels bring out the floral notes in Miller Light.) Next weekend, the Brewers Association throws two days of bashes meant to spotlight craft beers and the appetizers that complement them -- 48 small breweries (including a slew of them whose beers you can't get in Washington) serving up their own creations. What kind of pairings will you see? Something called Sexual Chocolate Imperial Stout will be matched with a crostini of figs and prosciutto, and the UFO Hefeweizen, totally made for empanadas with mango salsa. You also can hear from beer artisans, including Sam Calagione of Dogfish Head Craft Brewery, Brooklyn Brewery brewmaster Garrett Oliver and Jim Koch of Boston Beer, among others. $85 (tickets must be purchased in advance). May 16, 6:30-10 p.m.; May 17, 12:30-4 p.m. and 6:30-10 p.m. Andrew W. Mellon Auditorium, 1301 Constitution Ave. NW. For tickets and details (including the menu), visit http://www.savorcraftbeer.com.

ON STAGE Kevin Nealon More than a decade after Nealon's nine-year stint doing the fake news on "Saturday Night Live's" Weekend Update (and, of course, playing Subliminal Man and roid-happy Franz to Dana Carvey's Hans), Nealon is having something of a career renaissance. He's a stoner city councilman on HBO's "Weeds"; he has a book, "Yes, You're Pregnant, but What About Me?," coming out this week; and a movie in the works with a cast that includes Ashley Tisdale. He is set to begin a stand-up tour that will bring him to Washington for four shows in September. $25 (plus two-item minimum). Sept. 26-27 at 8 and 10:30 p.m. both nights. DC Improv, 1140 Connecticut Ave. NW. 202-296-7008.