Agitated? Irritable? Hostile? Aggressive? Impulsive? Restless?

John Boehner, the House minority leader, had a similar case of Election Anxiety Disorder when he arrived a few minutes later in the House television studio. "Well, it was another wake-up call," he said of Tuesday's loss in Mississippi, using the same words he used after last week's loss in Louisiana. His eyes watery, Boehner allowed that "we've got to do a better job."

"Last question," a staffer called out. The news conference, including opening statements by four officials, was just nine minutes old.

Will "The Change You Deserve" give Republicans the relief they need? Democrats thought it to be a prescription for ridicule. "John Boehner," Hoyer said at his news briefing, flashing the Effexor brand on the screen, "says he has a new mantra . . . 'Change You Deserve.' Interesting where he got that."

And Hoyer didn't even mention the warning label, which states that patients should be watched to see if they are "becoming agitated, irritable, hostile, aggressive, impulsive, or restless."

Hostile? Aggressive? Boehner aide Michael Steel dashed off an e-mail to reporters. "I heard that Rep. Hoyer showed an image from a pharmaceutical advertisement at his pen and pad, highlighting the GOP's new 'Change You Deserve' message," he wrote. This, he said, is "foolishness," a "silly stunt" and "campaign-style hijinks."

Agitated? Irritable? Adam Putnam (Fla.), the Republican Conference chairman, and Eric Cantor (Va.), the chief deputy whip, held their weekly briefing. They were not themselves. "It's Monday, isn't it?" Putnam asked wearily.

"Members are not in a great mood, nor am I," Cantor added. The assembled reporters pummeled the pair with sharp questions -- "So, what are the changes? . . . How do you possibly address those problems? . . . How is this different from what you said before you lost Mississippi?" -- until it was time for the rollout, on the Capitol steps, of the "Change You Deserve" agenda.

"The Change You Deserve," announced a sign on the lectern. "The Change You Deserve," confirmed a poster displayed nearby. Aides distributed a 20-page booklet with "CHANGE YOU DESERVE" printed in red capital letters on the front. Boehner vowed to give Americans "the kind of change they deserve."

But Election Anxiety Disorder is a serious ailment, and only about two dozen Republican members had the courage to show up for the rollout. Fortunately for the rest of the GOP caucus, the change they deserve is within reach: The recommended starting dosage of Effexor is 75 milligrams a day.