Finding Your Way to Common Ground

Here are tips from mediation experts about how to address a complaint with a neighbor:

· Do plan what you are going to say and how you're going to say it before you speak.

· Don't put off having a conversation. It only gets more difficult.

· Do use terms such as "I think," "I observed," "I feel" or "My intentions are" to frame your issues.

· Don't use emotionally charged "blaming" words that imply one person is right and the other is wrong.

· Do give the person time to respond, then listen respectfully and acknowledge his or her feelings.