Week 765: It's Doo-Dah Day

Some of the loveliest melodies in American music were written by Stephen Foster, the biggest-deal songwriter of the 19th century. Unfortunately, Foster's lyrics don't tend to be quite so lovely to most American ears, since many were written for pre-Civil War minstrel shows, to be sung by white men in blackface. Just as unfortunately, this hasn't stopped those same lyrics from being enshrined as the state songs of Florida ("Old Folks at Home") and Kentucky ("My Old Kentucky Home"). Okay, Kentucky changed " 'Tis summer, the darkies are gay" to " 'Tis summer, the people are gay" -- but wouldn't it be better to just overhaul the lyrics entirely, while preserving the pretty tune?

That, of course, is where you come in: This week: Write humorous lyrics commemorating any of the 50 states or the District, set to any of these Stephen Foster songs: "Old Folks at Home" (a.k.a. "Way Down Upon the Swanee River"); "My Old Kentucky Home"; "Oh! Susanna"; "Camptown Races"; or "Jeannie With the Light Brown Hair." Those who missed out on learning these songs in school or at home can find many earnestly sung examples on YouTube.com; just search on the song titles.

The winner gets the Inker, the official Style Invitational trophy. Second place receives, just in time to be a couple of days too late for Father's Day, a necktie with pictures of various hand tools and small hardware, along with a book on "How to Tie a Tie," all part of a promotional package from the DIY Network. Perhaps there's a man out there who can perfect dovetail joints but hasn't been able to master a Windsor knot.

Other runners-up win their choice of a coveted Style Invitational Loser T-shirt or yearned-for Loser Mug. Honorable Mentions get one of the lusted-after Style Invitational Magnets. One prize per entrant per week. Send your entries by e-mail to http://losers@washpost.com or by fax to 202-334-4312. Deadline is Tuesday, May 27. Put "Week 765" in the subject line of your e-mail, or it risks being ignored as spam. Include your name, postal address and phone number with your entry. Contests are judged on the basis of humor and originality. All entries become the property of The Washington Post. Entries may be edited for taste or content. Results will be published June 14. No purchase required for entry. Employees of The Washington Post, and their immediate relatives, are not eligible for prizes. Pseudonymous entries will be disqualified. This week's contest was suggested by Dave Prevar. The revised title for next week's results is by Kevin Dopart. This week's Honorable Mentions name is by Beverley Sharp.

Report From Week 761

in which we asked you to supply dialogue for any of three wordless Bob Staake comic strips:

4. (Russell Beland, Springfield)

3. CARTOON C:

1. Left man: Where do we serve the subpoena?

Right man: I have the address -- let's go.

2. Left: The charges are horrible -- dozens of little girls forced to dress and pose provocatively! Mirrors! Poles!

Left man: The scum!