Three Rounds, Two Davids, One Knockout

For the first time since Clay vs. Ruben, two guys are competing for the "American Idol" tiara, so in an effort to guy it up, the producers go with a boxing-match motif. Because apparently, preteen girls and middle-aged women -- the show's core audience -- love boxing. Who knew?

With the show moved to the [Cellphone Company] theater, well-known professional ring announcer Michael Buffer introduces Idolette David "Sugarfoot" Cook. He then demonstrates why a rocker should never ever ever make it to the Final 2 of this competition, losing all his cred as he happily camps it up in a red satin robe and boxing gloves.

David "Babyface" Archuleta, on the other hand, has the good sense to seem really uncomfortable and embarrassed shoved into a blue satin robe and boxing gloves.

Music industry mogul Clive Davis is back, babbling and squinting. Best "Idol" guest mentor ever Andrew Lloyd Webber is back, too, only slightly more coherent than Davis, but he's clearly a victim of editor slicing and dicing.

Round 1: Songs Picked by Clive Davis

Cook is stuck with "I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For." In honor of the auspicious occasion, his Coroner Munchkin sideburns are back, but the rest of his hair has been made to look like a thatched roof.

Judge Randy Jackson likes the performance a lot. Judge Paula Abdul says he may not have found what he's looking for but we've found it and it's David Cook, amen, amen. Judge Simon Cowell calls it "phenomenal" in light of how tense Cook looked at the top of the show. Cook cocks his head to one side and gives his best stage surprised look.

Baby Elmo Archuleta's stuck with "Don't Let the Sun Go Down on Me." The audience loves his performance. Randaula says the sun is never gonna go down on Baby Elmo because he brings so much sunshine to the world with his beautiful sunny performance -- and then collapses from pun exhaustion.

Simon calls it Baby Elmo's best performance to date. "Taking everything into account," he adds, "Round 1 goes to Archuleta."

Round 2: Idolette-Chosen Treacle Tune

For this round, the Two Davids must pick one of this season's "American Idol" Treacle Tune nominees.

Coroner Munchkin/Thatched Roof picks a tune called "Dream Big," which -- while a perfectly decent rock tune for a bartender -- is hardly Treacle Tune-worthy.