The Verdict on Reality Shows? The Judges Hold the Appeal.

Reality show judges sit imperiously on high, issuing criticism and encouragement and soul-crushing snark from their bronzer-and-buff-and-Botox faces, but rarely have to face the heat themselves. Judge not lest ye be judged, the Bible says, but to that reality television says: Feh!

These professional judges' panels are preordained celebrity collections of wit, wisdom and, at times, simpering idiocy that rule so much of reality TV. These panels sometimes are chock-full of charisma and sometime are heavy on shtick, but their interpersonal dynamics are a huge part of what keeps the viewers tuning in.

So as Fox's "American Idol" and ABC's "Dancing With the Stars" crown their season champions this week, and Bravo's "Top Chef" marches toward its final Quickfire Challenge, the time is ripe to put the judges on the hot seat and determine how they themselves stack up.

Our criteria for this little competition include entertainment value, professional credibility, personality, respect and that certain intangible that is group chemistry.

We've tallied our votes and this season's top judging panel is . . .

Oops, we've got to pause and let you first take a closer look.

Let's start with "Dancing With the Stars," which last night crowned its newest champion, Kristi Yamaguchi. If you think they've got karmic chemistry, perhaps it's all about their pregame ritual.

Before each Monday-night taping, the three judges -- Len Goodman, Bruno Tonioli and Carrie Ann Inaba -- all hold hands and express their love for each other.

"I love you," Bruno tells Len. "I love you," Len tells Carrie Ann. (Yes, seriously, this happens. Carrie Ann swears it does.)

"We started doing [the hand-holding] in the second season," Inaba says by phone from Los Angeles. "That way we're free during the judging. You don't feel like anybody's going to get ganged up."

Then the live show starts and Tonioli screams his way over Goodman. Or Inaba looks at Tonioli as if he's lost his mind when he raves about the total hotness of the dancer and loses track, in her opinion, of the dance itself. Or Goodman puts on his metaphoric "crotchety pants" and dismisses the critiques of the other two because some dancer sneaked some of that unnecessary hip-hop junk into a ballroom number.

Then the next day, the three show up at the CBS studio lot for the results show and get together in their makeshift grotto (Goodman brought the water fountain, Tonioli the plants, Inaba the lawn chairs and a little rug) and sunbathe.