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ASK AMY

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Ted may tell you that Kelly speaks for him. If so, then you are correct that you might have to suck it up until the day when Kelly oversteps her boundaries and stomps on Ted's toes.

Dear Amy:

My granddaughter has lived with her boyfriend for about three years. She is 21 and he is 26. Lately, she says, he seems disinterested in their relationship. They're both college students and under stress.

I suggested they both need "a break" for a bit. What do you think?

R

Your granddaughter entered this intimate relationship at a very young age, and now this couple may have hit the "three-year skids" and be too immature to navigate their way through.

After three years, the newness of the situation has faded and committed couples make a transition into a more settled and steady sort of relationship. Some couples don't make this transition well and each party decides to move on.

The best advice you can give her is to talk with her partner in a frank and loving way. If her boyfriend wants to leave the relationship, then she needs to know.

Taking a break might be best for both of them, but not as a way to repair their relationship. To repair it, they need to come together as a couple and make some real decisions about their future.

Write to Amy Dickinson ataskamy@tribune.comor Ask Amy, Chicago Tribune, TT500, 435 N. Michigan Ave., Chicago, Ill. 60611.

2008by the Chicago Tribune Distributed by Tribune Media Services


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