Handouts and Hands Out

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To maintain my sweet disposition, I keep repeating the mantra "Every day, and in every way . . ."

By my calculation, the mayor and council members elected to give away 75 percent of the sum the private sector has been asked to cough up to fix the schools.

If public education matters so much, why didn't His Honor and his council henchmen -- oops, henchpersons -- spend the $56 million on the school system instead of giving it to every grant-seeking groupie in a 10-mile radius?

(At this point, I must interrupt this column and slip into my alpha state, reposing with eyes closed and with my mind concentrated on the pleasant thought that in the not-too-distant by and by, everything's gonna be all right.)

Thanks for waiting.

Now, fresh and fully rested, with anger under control, I plow on.

Let's turn to the next item that would -- were it not for Coué's self-affirmation formula -- leave me depressed and with an upset stomach: the absolutely obscene proposal to spend at least $150 million of public money for a new soccer stadium.

Enriching the rich. That will be the outcome if the city gives in to Victor B. MacFarlane, the majority partner of D.C. United, who's lobbying for D.C. money to help him build a stadium that will make him even richer.

The city will be poorer if the mayor and council say yes.

But look at it from a politician's perspective: It means more freebies to share with friends. Those soccer stadium tickets will fit nicely with the 19 season tickets and two guest passes to stadium Suite 61 that city leaders hustled from the Washington Nationals. Not to mention the Verizon Center luxury suite they wrenched from Washington Wizards owner Abe Pollin.

Or the free lunches, drinks, dinners and banquet seats that they scrounge every day.

Our city fathers (and mothers) live large in the spirit of a 1928 limerick by the Rev. Charles Inge, which also captures the Coué method: